the life of the long-lost keeper:)

Woohoo~ I'm back

2011-03-22T01:30:00.000-07:00

woah. it's been really really long.

2010-12-22T02:52:00.000-08:00

it's been really really long.
so many things have changed and i have changed so much too. well, i tink im becoming more angst, but i guess god's been really kind to me, that he gave me a "happy pill" :) at least when im down, someone's there to remind me that god's grace will definitely be sufficient.
well, yay! im gonna leave for my FAVOURITE PLACE IN THE WORLD!!:) ---- switzerland. (pretty right?) :D
but somehow its like im not as excited as i thought i'll be. it's not really abt the plaace, that's the only part that cheers me up, it's abt the company. im really worried. i really am. i hope my bad premonition will not come true. please please...
anyways, let's see. i really really need to go overseas but i feel so dumb:(
hopefully i can finish doing everything for the admission process. and hope for the best la..
>.< well, gotta walk the dog before i go. soooooooo,
i'll write more when im back!

im back.

2010-08-06T02:37:00.000-07:00

i have decided im gonna do sth abt it.
once somebody told me dont make somebody a priority when they make u an option.
that's true.
so i shall follow it.
why am i the only 1 to feel so. well.
that's all gonna change(:

quotes help me express what im unable to.

2010-05-03T04:42:00.000-07:00

this all describes how i feel:

-"Silence is a true friend
who never betrays."
Confucius

true, the value of silence is understated.

-"A fall into a ditch
makes you wiser."

i'm currently in a ditch.hopefully it makes me wiser.

-The real man is one who always finds excuses for others,
but never excuses himself.
Henry Ward Beecher

-Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around.
Frank A. Clark

-Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin

-When I was a young coach I used to say, "Treat everybody alike." That's bull. Treat everybody fairly.
Bear Bryant

-Life isn't fair. It isn't going to be fair.
Stop sniveling and whining and go out and make it happen for you.
Dick Butler

-"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
Lewis B. Smedes

-"Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself."
Liberace

-You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.
Steven D. Woodhull

-"Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends." Henry Ward Beeche

that's all i'm bothered to find, the rest, im keeping to myself.

you've all that i want.

2010-05-03T04:32:00.000-07:00

hello. im back.

argh. i talk too much./
im under-confident,
over-sensitive and.
many many more.

as my sis puts it:
h myself. h my life.

please, im begging u.
i dont want to see you; dont want to hear you.
dont want you near me. :{
im going berserk,
just knowing you're here.
please..
i know it aint your fault.

the big green monster's back in full force.

ARGH.
why am i so unhappy???
there's no rationale.
shit man.
i hate this feeling,
of insecurity; of overdependence.
i need to be left alone, yet i dont want to be.

even lan doesnt make me happy.
what will?

feel like ______.
:'(

urgh.

2010-04-19T01:43:00.000-07:00

seriously. what am i doing with my life?
screwing it up? probably.
I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S APRIL!:D

2010-04-04T05:41:00.000-07:00

how easily i can be upset,
it must definitely be the joke of the year.

now, things are starting to turn into a mad rush,
but yet here i am procrastinating as usual.
haha.

recently has been my grandparentS birthdays.
like damn cool. my grandma's on april 1st, my grandfather's on 3rd.
i almost forgot. haha.
they are the cutest couple ever,

hm, my family has this history of bad r/s with happy endings.
i dont mind the happy ending part,
but the bad r/s,
please god, dont make it happen again.
:/

i realised people have double faces.
it's saddening to realise that the ones u trusted could do such things
so many examples alr, just today. like T, M and S
maybe these things are acceptable to them?
argh i dont know what to think.
but why why do they have different principles if they're friends?

oh well, im so tired of studying alr.
i suddenly feel very much like shopping most of the times recently.
i guess it's retail therapy? haha dont know.

i always have a lot to say,
but when i come to type.
only 1/20 percent of retention:(

sometimes winning is the only motivation you have to keep playing./
poker chip theory.

thoughts. and more thoughts.

2010-03-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

havent been penning my thoughts down,
though i really wanted too.
now it's all lost.

today i happen to be on the comp, so yup.
read people's blog.
i realised things arent always wat they seem.

usually in school they seem so happy,
but what i read was completely opposite.
i used to envy them; envy her.
now i'm not sure what 2 think at all.

oh wells, that's just a small teeny weeny bit.
but that's all i feel like saying at the moment.

hm. i feel dumb and stupid asnusual,
and i swear i tink too much.
analyse too much. sighs.

certain words, said meaninglessly and unintentionally
can be like a blunt knife.
it's harder to cut, but when it does,
it causes more pain and anguish.

let's see.
i really hoped i can be part of the scene i saw today,
just being a part of it, will surely be wonderful.
i dont know whether she realises how lucky she is,
she probably do.
first impressions really are unreliable..
i truly am happy i kept an open mind.

oh, i'm happy i got 2 go queensway with one of my favourite-est people.
was able to talk to her ; to get her views,
i was able to rant my frustrations about certain people.
it was nice to talk to someone with similar views.
that's what makes us click i suppose.

hm, oh ya, i really got to say how i dislike certain people.
their faces just pisses me off,
the way they act is utterly revolting.
i tried to not feel that way;
gosh, i feel damn bad abt it but,
it's just ultimate mood spoiler.
sigh, i seriously have issues.
______ & _________.
just thinking about them is upsetting.

dear lord please help me put it past them,
please help me be a nicer girl,
i really dont like to be the girl whom dislikes people.
please help me turn over a new leaf dear god.
thank you for your help. Amen.

i seriously dont feel too good,
i feel not good enough,
and it's seriously impairing my judgements and moods.

i've got so much to learn and do,..

but that's ok, im learning abit everyday. (:

POLAR OPPOSITES.

2010-03-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

we are opposites,
complete utter opposites;
but opposites attract.
ain't that true?

my creative juices are running dry!!
HELP.

sometimes i dont know what you are thinking;
u seem so pensive, so upset.
then when i ask, u always say no, your voice is just like that.
but aint ur tone obvious?
maybe im too sensitised.

sometimes i wished for u 2 tell me
: "it aint ur fault, dont be sorry"
and deign me with that smile of yours.

i miss your tags for me.
i miss ur casual prodding ;our mock arguments.
i miss our retarded conversations,now it's all serious convos on how to settle our problems.
i miss the fun times we had, when we were just ___.
it all started with jupiter, den things got serious and more messed up.
it's not that i regret, dont get me wrong.
really.

the pressure now's intense;
when suddenly, the whole vibe goes hay wire.
am i really always in the wrong?
i know u're not wrong to feel upset, that's for sure.
i keep feeling that it's all my fault that all these is happening.
i dont know how to let u feel ___.
i feel so guilty. i wished u would say it's ok, take things slowly,it's natural.
but u dont, so i gather it's really my fault?
im thinking too much, yet not enough.
i dont know what to do anymore.
i too dont want to be angsty, most of the time u'd be like:
man, now you angsty.
how does that make me feel? i also dont want 2 be angsty.
and i'm not angsty for no reason?
with others im fine; it's just when im with you.

the problem is that i dont think before i speak?
but like u said to NOT think before i speak.
maybe what's going through my head is just wrong?

rmb that workshop about different ways of communication?
maybe that's just it.

i really dont know what's wrong these days.
i'm increasingly unhappy when im with you.
i feel WFF, but i dont feel overjoyed.
is there something wrong with me. or is it im taking things for granted.
everyday the same things happen over and over.
is the problem gonna last? is it a passing phase?
so many questions, all unanswered.
to tell u the truth:

i really have no clue.

anyway, i think i've been scammed damn bad.
no, not about this.

AND.
im increasingly less close to _____.
:(((((((((((((
we just drifted. now she's got her ... and we just live separate lives.
time tgt is great, but there seems to be a hole we are avoiding.
a void that will not be filled up again.
maybe im being melodramatic.
or maybe AGAIN, oversensitised.
but like i can neva share what i could before.

ARGH. HATE THIS YEAR.
STARTED OFF ON A BAD FOOT,
STILL CONTINUING ON THAT PARTICULAR FOOT.

i hate the awkward moments i now keep on having.
hope that life has a rewind button, which is not possible, not a chance.

just need somebody to love me.

2010-03-18T22:47:00.000-07:00

spe·cial [spesh-uhl]

–adjective

being a particular one; particular, individual, or certain: You'd better call the special number.
extraordinary; exceptional, as in amount or degree; especial: special importance.
being such in an exceptional degree; particularly valued: a special friend.

exactly. so what defines me as special?
i dont know.
omg, im having a serious case of insecurities.

“Life becomes precious and more special to us when we look for the little everyday miracles and get excited about the privileges of simply being human” -Tim Hansel

haha. i've been thinking too much.
hate what's being changed about me:
being too oversensitive;
thinking too much.

i want to return to the ignorant me.
to the girl who's always in her own world,
without a worry or care.

oh well, moving on.
yay. the vballers are back.
man after seeing all those comments on fb,
i REALLY REALLY want 2 go:(
and i missed my once-in-a-lifetime chance.
the benefits: i gained 400 bucks.
which i REFUSE TO SPEND.
argh, other than that,..?
oh, bonding with my grandma and people i dont often go out with.
that part is good.(: but other than that?
nadda. zip.

ok, i must not be so ____.
let's see. i dont know why but i cant seem to work up interest in anything at all.
it's all so. blurgh.
haha.

anyway, i watched The Lovely Bones ytd.
maddeningly creepy, (esp.if u look at it matter-of-factly)
but yet, it's a nice show.
it's unique and interesting in its own way.(:
i guess, it's just me. like im easily terrified.
and it reminds me so much of ____.
it really makes me wonder where she went.
i really really hope she's not stuck in the in between.
i would hate it very much, no friends nothing. :(
even if it's a little piece of perfect heaven, it's still creepy ttm.

i hope you can hear me;
please please be happy where ever u are okay?
i promised i'll live my life for you,
so dont worry, i'll be strong and happy.
i love you. my special girl.

“It doesn't require a special day to express how much I Love You... if every ordinary day is more than special when I am with you.”

today's a riot.

2010-03-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

today i went and ate sushi tei(:
yums. is like damn satisfying ok!
den my grandma net me and we went shopping-.-"
haha.

she complains damn alot.!!!
but im going 2 meet her again tmr anw(: haah.

i wanna get sandals from anchorpoint
:D mad loves.

oh, and i tink i know how 2 settle my psp problem alr.(:

haha. and now I GOT BANGS!
haha. im retarded.
had this crazy idea this afternoon.
see how harmful boredom is?

haha, but not bad lah.
still like not disastrous for my 1st try!
except this small part.!!
but as long as i tie my hair, all will be fine:P
haha.

oh, i was pondering over something very philosophical on the bus,
but i forgot alr:/
damn. i was like: must must rmb.
haha.. oh well.expected of me.

epitome of sadness.

2010-03-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

looking at facebook makes me sad.
all the status updates about going m'sia.
but im not:(

extra!

2010-03-13T06:35:00.000-08:00

There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them. -- Phyllis Bottome

okay, back again.
this shows how bored i am! haah

i smell durian puffs baking <3
my mom makes the best! yum.

The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -- Allan K. Chalmers

im aiming to be happy(:
yay.
-sth 2 do:
catch up with people, slack around(:
-sth 2 love:
hmm, this 1.. of course my friends lah.
-sth 2 hope for:
hope for more stuff.
this march hols will not be a bad thing afterall,
i must think positively!
-i've got loads of extra time on my hands
-i can plan the stuff i've been wanting to a long time
-i can catch up.(! not)
haha. yay. and i can make sure im not angsty from now on.
i've been too stressed :{

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive. -- Orlando A. Battista

since that is so:
I LOVE U PEEPS.
HAHA. many people i love.
really truly utterly.

haha i'm turning into a shopaholic eh.
shit man.
but i suck at finding blogshops:((

hmm, and since i've got time, i shall post some pictures of my kota kinabalu trip,
as well as the cny stuff!

haha.
i've got tons of pictures. i shall post some only.

argh horrid horrid hols.

2010-03-13T04:46:00.000-08:00

this is the start of my horrible hols.

i finally found the time to blog.
seriously been so stressed.
had been so looking forward to the trip.
and it's like disappointments thru and thru.

i was taken on a roller coaster.
hate expectations.
i hate last minute cancellations.
damn.
where got time to plan other stuff:(

never count your eggs before they hatch.
that's the biggest takeaway i have.

oh well.i should stop griping about everything.
think positive.
hmm, im so lazy 2 blog.
haha recently it's just studying and studying..
my terms came and went.
quite happy it's ephemeral.
my maths sucked damn bad. but like the rest of the papers i thought it was alright!!
(: yay.
but liek everybody said it's hard:/
so is it just me??:( man.
i scared interpret wrongly den psych myself up for a disappointment:(

okay. im being paranoid~
argh, but i must remember not to be careless.!!!
argh, loads of marks lost cuz of that!!!

okay. moving on.
volleyball is like a turmoil of mess and disaster.
segregation and all.
ms tang's straining our r/s and all.
shit man.

oh my psp can work alr(:
but the games i dl cant be registered.
im wondering whether i should just buy the game
or be more persistent in downloading.
i decided 2 check how 2 dl shows!!!
im too lazy, that's why im technologically illiterate
tsk.\

haha. oh btw if u havent watched alice in wonderland,
GO WATCH IT(:
oh ya. it's a sequel of the original 1....!!!

ok, i shall end this here..
will be back soon(:
cuz im too free anyhow.

shitz.need.to.get.a.life.NOW

2010-02-25T05:25:00.000-08:00

ohmigosh, im rotting away into emptyness.

i swear,
gosh.people abandoned their fb and their blogs.
here i am procrastinating again.
it's the bane of my existence i swear.

argh, i want to write oh-so-many things,
but argh. dont know where 2 start.

I NEED TO GET RID OF ALL MY ANGST FIRST AND FOREMOST.

i hate my life now.
ok hate is a strong word.
dislike would be appropriate.

im confused.
frustrated.
irritated.
discontented.
...and so much more.

you mean the world to me..

such a waste, 3 years of ___. poof.

2010-02-20T20:30:00.000-08:00

it seems to mean nothing to her,

oh wells.
'i have given up' where have i heard this.
i shall say it again.
shitzz. i have no mood 2 study.
i want 2 go swimming or do sth, 2 get this out of my mind.

omg. i love my vball girls.
they are the awesome-est<3
they neva fail 2 cheer me up,
after a uber sucky day.
it doesnt matter that we have 2 suffer together,
it's not really the suffering, but the together part.

loads of shit is piling up now.
tiffanytan, do your work!
argh, i dont want 2 do anything. just want 2 rot:/
haha. mann... i've got so much i want 2 do.

ok this post is completely utterly random.
HAH. it's just for procrastinating purposes.

hmm i wonder who's the bitch.

-is your dad a terrorist cuz u're DA BOMB.

bad start to the new year..

2010-02-16T05:53:00.000-08:00

ARGH. MY LIFE'S SO F-UP RIGHT NOW. :(
uh.

what the shit is wrong with these people.
made life so difficult.

when i see everybody saying how their new year's gonna be a good one,
i feel damn damn horrible.

i know i should count my blessings, but...
i just cant.

- i dont know what's wrong with her.
both people for that matter,

my apologies.

2010-02-10T07:23:00.000-08:00

IM SO SORRY. im so caught up with my own life, i neglected u. i wished we were on the same class. nowadays, we seem so distant, i dont say anything to u and neither do u. it's so sad. i'm always afraid that u're angsty. like in the morning when i tell u stuff, u seem unreceptive. now i dont know what 2 say 2 u alr D: why have we become like this. life seems so much less complicated when we were younger. when life revolves around just girls. im such a lousy friend. Sorry.. :'(

omg.my life's in a state of angsty.
argh. shoo, bad mood. shoo.

i must wear this armor;
armor 2 protect me,
to ensure that i'll not be upsetted easily.
myt ears affect others, i dont like.

things i bottle inside of me,
well up from time to time.
i hate that feeling.

i must not be like ____.
i dont know what's wrong with me recently.
all the bad hormones are getting to me.
dont know why im so evil.
always bitching. :( im sorry to those whom i hurt.
it's not fair to you all. sorry.

i dont know how many mistakes i make.
i think before i act.honestly..
but it just doesnt seem 2 be enough.
my thinking isnt comprehensive. i dont know no shit.

training's has been so sian. ://
i feel like a calefare.
it's unfair.
seriously.
i know i want 2 be better,
but how am i getting better if i keep facing the wall;
doing the same mistakes over and over again?
and no one's gonna correct it.
im so frustrated, 200 bucks for what.
if u just leave me 2 'practice' on my own,
den i dont need u, i can save my time and money,
and just practice. so pissing.

i guess i like it that it makes me fitter.
but at the same time, i got better things to do.
im in a dilemma.
ohmigosh. dont know how 2 survive this.
always i'll be waiting for it 2 end,
i feel so tired,
and at the same time, i feel i have no right 2 be tired.
so i feel guilty.
double whammy. hahh.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. -- Groucho Marx

i shall not wallow in whatever past mistakes i made today.

my sleep's slipping away.this very minute.

2010-02-08T08:01:00.000-08:00

Saw you walk into the room
Thought I'd try to talk to you
Babe am I ever glad you wanted me to
It's been two years to the day
Half the time I've been away
I know I'm not there enough but that's gonna change
'cause I'm coming back
To show you that I'm keeping the promise I made

my OG kids damn cute!
<3 them.

When I'm with you I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you
Whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I'll still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count when I'm with you

haha im being ordered not 2 blog!
but b4 i forget, i wanna put this song up.

Yeah we've had our ups and down
But we've always worked them out
Babe am I ever glad we've got this far now
Still I'm lying here tonight
Wishing I was by your side
'cause when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life

haha. i finished chem.
still got econs and gp 2 do(:
JIA YOU! HAHA.

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you
When ever you're not around
When I kiss you I'll still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you
Whatever it takes I'm not gonna break the promise I made
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you

oh man.i feel like writing,
but nvm(: im not angst anymore.
haha. i was damn sian and stoned. not anymore..
whee~

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'cause I miss you
Whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I'll still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
(Make every second count)
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
Yeah

bittersweet romance.

2010-02-06T03:55:00.000-08:00

orientation came to an end alr..
but yet, i dont know what 2 feel still.
happy it's over cuz im tired.
but sad that i have 2 go back to school.

man, im gonna miss them.
they are so sweet:]
like pure chocolate.
ok nvm, ignore that thought.
im just craving for chocolates.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

~Winnie the Pooh

AWW.

EPITOME OF LAZINESS.
im so lazy 2 go hm!!
ARGH.
ok.i've got so much 2 say, but too lazy 2 type-.-"

haha soon!!:P

trust issues

2010-02-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

I’m killing my own throat.
anyway that's not the point.

im kinda in no mood 2 write.

it's settled, im happy!

yupp.. back to being a busy bumblebee:(
OGL stuff plus trng are driving me nuts.
i'm not enjoying it as much as i should be. all because of ____.
argh.

i cant believe how much i changed.
i would like 2 think it's for the better, but im not sure:(

ohwell, i cant waste any more time being upset..

GOSH I LOVE MY FAMILY(:
my extended family
:D
they are damn cute!
at the carnival, they were like so funny:DD
AWESOME.

God will make a way

Where there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see

He will make a way for me

He will be my guide

Hold me closely to His side

With love and strength

For each new day

He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness

He'll lead me

And rivers in the desert will I see

Heaven and earth will fade

But His Word will still remain

He will do something new today

IM OH SO BUSY:(
GOD. SAVE ME.

so sick and tired:(

2010-01-24T07:45:00.001-08:00

"Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff."
Richard Carlson

argh.
i hate sides.

hate irresponsibility.

hate that im stressing myself out over the small stuff.

hate last minute announcements.

hate homework.
hate my bad memory.

hate this feeling.
hate dreading school.
hate doing work.

dont tell me what i can and cannot do.
even if it's for my own good.
leave me alone.

im being angst.
just ________.

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."
Author Unkown

especially for...

2010-01-21T03:47:00.000-08:00

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
i was being unfair and stupid. :/
excuses will just ruin this apology.. so, yeah.
im so sorry..

omg, i just realised how irritating she is at times;
this is not her, you-know-who.
but.. haha this has 2 be a secret lah.
i'll get over it.

you know how your 'listen to the unspoken words'?
yupp, hope u do.

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Author Unknown
so please pleaase, forgive me?

home is where the heart is.

2010-01-20T06:45:00.000-08:00

A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend.

it does matter, family that is.
it's nice to go back to a place where someone is waiting for u.
it's nice just thinking about how ur dinner would be there.
especially after a long school day,
a sign of concern works wonders for a tired soul.
just a 'how's school?' no matter what language,
..is so soothing. :)
i thank god to be able 2 return home 2 someone,
who puts cream on my face for me;
who forces me 2 eat "nutritious" food;
who nags at me constantly to sleep early;
who begrudgingly gives me money.. HAHA.
anyways, i thank god for people who love me for who i am,
who knows my faults, but yet gives unconditional love.

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.
-- George Moore

hmm, i was looking through my fone, i should upload some of the nice pictures there(:
oh gosh, gotta run.
loads of things to do, so little time:/

i wished... without hope.

2010-01-19T19:17:00.000-08:00

oh god, she spoils my appetite.
im so sorry,
but i wished she ______.

whee~

2010-01-19T04:34:00.000-08:00

here we go!!!~
this aint gonna be a long one cuz i dont have the time:(
but i just wanna say that:
I <3 these few days!!!

It's my life and I'm not sitting
On the sidelines watching it
Pass me by, I'm leaving you my legacy
I I gotta make my mark, I gotta run it hard
I want you to remember me
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints on you

i heard this from my ipod on the way home..
haha. i feel so loved and pampered:)
i realised many people love and care for me.
i have the coolest auntie ever,
my parents might have some faults, but they're not bad nonetheless.
my friends are the nicest..
my vball team's the best! and..
________________________.
go figure!:P

sometimes i dont know what goes through your mind, but it doesn't matter cuz i know exactly wat goes in your heart.

liwenn, i hope u're feeling all better!:D

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart,
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Lean on me, when you're not strong,
and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on,
for it won't be long, 'til I'm going to need somebody to lean on."
- "Lean On Me"

oh gosh, i need to do work alr!! die. haha
it's so boring...
guess this:HYHICIF! :D
( hint: today in class!)

okay i said i'll post.

2010-01-17T01:58:00.000-08:00

it's not like anybody's reading. it's more like a promise to myself.
oh wells. :D

omg im SUCH A PIG.
i fell aslp when there's tons of things waiting for me 2 do :/

there's so much to say i dont know where to start.
AND DONT JUDGE ME, I HATE THAT.

oh wells, on we go..

i should start from the more recent stuff. like today.
i feel like a failure:(
my resolve sucks.

on a side note, i'm glad to find someone who feels the same way as me.
i feel so oppressed.
haha not that i want her 2 feel it too.
but i'm glad there's someone in my boat.
(: ily.

im a strong believer in fate.
and that helped settle it once and for all.

oh, i spotted my twin's blog(:
he changed it and didnt bother telling me:(
haha i guess we dont talk much, but like OMG.
haha no lah, i anyhow say 1..
FYI, TWINN!! IF U ARE READING THIS, U CAN TELL ME ABOUT UR DEC 7 POST!!! *wink wink. haha

haha okay, i just woke up so im a bit high.
lemme see what i can find on my fone.
lucky my phone has a note function.
if not all my thoughts would be gone just like that. *poof.

haha oh ya! saw veera today.
at first a bit pissed cuz of all the trouble...,
but like eventually, it was alright..
when i saw her, i just felt like smiling.
it feels great helping a friend.:]

'it does not matter how slow you go except that you do not stop.' -confucius.

cool huh?
i saw this while taking the mrt.
i guess it has loads of significance.
i'm glad i came across it..

YESTERDAY CAN BE SUMMARISED IN:
- dont start what you cant finish.
-abit of gratefulness goes a long way.

the rest of the stuff, i already said.
u'll know since i would have told u.(:

but why cant we start and end correctly? haha
nvm, we've got many more years to get it right=P
i hope.

i want a hug. badly.

it feels great when someone throws a smile in your direction.

i thank god everyday to be alive,
it doesnt matter if the day didnt turn out right,
but at least i get 2 experience it.
god's the potter, i am the clay.
i'll gladly say: use me!
and that's the truth of it. :)

okay, let's see..

the first week of school felt like a month.
it's been so long since i dread school.
if im not wrong , it should be in kindergarten.

oh, let me digress.
i feel quite accomplished today, even if i didnt do anything.
heheh.

back. haha
hmm mornings are a routine, for everybody for that matter.
i check whether im late for the bus by seeing this small boy with a mole.
haha. he's damn punctual lah. haha.
den i'll fall aslp on the bus, til novenea, den i'll wait at the same spot for liwenn.
sometimes it'll vary abit, like when i oversleep in the bus, but
i thank god there's people like liwenn's dad who is uber nice..:D

i've many realizations these few days.

at the beginning, u'll notice everything.
that's cuz u dont expect anything. it makes u really happy,
so i guess it's the key.

from time to time, we need to look back and notice the small itty bitty details,
that seem so unnoticeable.
just a hand on your back to steady u;
shows he cares for ur safety.
just a smile in your direction;
means he wants to cheer u up.
just a glance towards u;
means he's always aware of your every movement.

these small displays of affection, many are taken for granted.
but they mean the world to me.

oh gosh, i need go eat dinner.
i'm damn long winded,
still got so much to say.
nvm, there's always a next time.

last thing: it's really a note to myself.
i need confidence.
stop being so insecure tiffany tan.
if not everyone will act like u're a retard.
and u cant blame anyone,
CUZ IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

from now on,
i'm gonna look into the mirror, and see a lion.

catharsis.

2010-01-15T06:55:00.000-08:00

:the purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, esp. through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music.

this is supposed to be a happy post.
but it's abit not...again.

omg, im too tired.
promise, tmr morning.

should i?should i not? hmm...

SCHOOL STARTS IN LESS THAN 24 HRS TIME.

2010-01-10T02:16:00.000-08:00

i feel blue!

Gonna stay in bed today
'Cuz I can't stand the light
Don't know why I get so down

thinking too much, doing too little.
procrastination sucks ttm.

I won't be much fun tonight
And I can't believe
You still want to hang around me

very very tired.
i cant believe how unhappy i am,
where the hell did the happy-cheerful tiffany go to?
i want her back.

It's not so pretty all the time
You don't mind
To you it's alright

looking back at the year, i feel i didnt maximise my potential and my time.
going into the year, i already can visualise feeling regretful etc.
omg. im so ruined.
why am i so emo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha okay i should like list the things i did and be grateful.

As I am is how you take me
Never try to push or make me different
When I talk you listen to me

i went island creamery just. <3
MAD MAD LOVES. <3
4 scoops of ice cream.! after this ice cream famine,
it's awesome!!!(:(:
ILY. ice cream's the best invention on the planet.
delish!! plus i can conclude my mood totally changes for the better.
after eating ice cream.....:D

As I am is how you want me and
I know I've found the pieces missing
I'm looking at him

ytd i went cny shopping with my sis and my aunt.
it's splendid! even if cuz of that i didnt do work.. haha
i got like loads of stuff. im too lazy to post the pictures, but the shoes are MAD LOVE(:
i tink i've got a shoe fetish now!! all i need now is 2 find my dream dress//
heart heart.haha
i'm turning into a shopaholic. shitzz...

I'm not the girl you think you see
But maybe that's a lie
You almost know me better than
Me, myself and I

now let's see the unhappy stuff. SCHOOL,.
shit. it starts in a day and i havent done hwk.
PLUS. im changing chem class. i dont want 2 be alone.
it's damn awkward.. :(
im utterly worried.. i hope there's somebody i know..

Don't know a lot of things
But I know what I got
It's not so perfect everyday
I don't have to try
'Cuz it all falls into place

hmm, i've really been stressing my brain out.
massive headache this afternoon.
oh, i concluded that last year was a wake up call to me.
after hearing this testimony,
(did i mention i went church?)
i realised exactly that god's helping me realise how dumb i am.
thanks for showing u love me.
sth pulled at my heart strings at church today.
it's a really great feeling.

As I am is how you take me
Never try to push or make me different
When I talk you listen to me

i feel really bad not feeling happy today..
so sorry..
for my outburst and all. and my angsty-ness.
i dont know what's wrong with me.
for the pressure and all..
AARGH.

As I am is how you want me and
I know I've found the pieces missing
I'm looking at him

THANKS FOR TRYING 2 BRIBE ME.
the thought of it makes me smile. haha.
only you'll do that.-.-"

Face to face, eye to eye
You're standing there
Feels good on the inside

there's loads i wanna say, but i dont know exactly how to say.
oh on a side note,
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS is utterly awesome!!!!!<3
it's like damn cute((:
and the quality of the company counts too right? :P
haha
I don't mind, I don't care
You're standing there
Seein' me for the first time

thanks for pushing me to study!
even though it sorta failed.
haha.
for trying 2 cheer me up.
for being TBABFE!(:

Seein' me for the first time
Seein' me for the first time

i must welcome change. haha it was preached today.

and joy makes the world go round.(:

As I am is how you take me
Never try to push or make me different
When I talk you listen to me

omg. i cant stop saying how sorry i am,
for the angsty-ness.
im thinking in a very selfish way. sorry!

As I am is how you want me and
I know I've found the pieces missing
I'm looking at him

THE NOTEBOOK:
'Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.'
'So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day.'

Found the pieces missing
Take me as I am
When I talk you listen
Take me as I am

i know u'd be seeing this.
this song's for u .. :D

Found the pieces missing
Take me as I am

TERRA!

2010-01-07T06:28:00.000-08:00

bring on the fire, wind and rain,
cuz terra's gonna bring the pain.
back back to where u came.
cuz u're all standing on our terrain. :)

OUR COOLEST CHEER!<3
>.< LIWENN! like this?(:
is it like this?
haha i forgot alr..
-------------------------------------------------
specially for SOME people:
(SO DONT COMPLAIN :P)
SAY! HMTDYHTHTILY?
TWBD,too bad!:P
you asked for it.
ISSAT, HGMAH..
WIWAC,IKWYWD. shitzz. haha.
one last thing: DBSS,Y'llSM!>.<

-your gip

P.S. this is oh-so-difficult.goodluck:D

stfu.

2010-01-07T05:15:00.000-08:00

it's my turn to speak.
haha i sound totally vulgar. but dont tink along that line!

haha.im not as happy as i sound.
im all tired out.. :/

it's not as fun as it's made out to be..:P
and being mature takes hard work, it sucks..
haha shitzz..

oh my favourite phrase now would be....
*drum rolls..
haha a toss up between 'stunn-ed' and '...-ish'!!
cool right??^^

i've been haha-ing loads..
im abit angsty..

haha just some random tidbits den.
hmm..

my resolution for the year is to not procrastinate!(but i broke it alr)
i hate it when people i dont know poke into my affairs.
being cheerleader-rahrah-ish is not bad, unless u take it to a whole new level.then it'll suck>.<>
i'm damn sucky at like keeping my stuff:((
im all tired out, where will i find the mood to be happy?!? gosh.

haha that's just a summary. i've got many things i plan to do this new year,
like to listen and pay attention 2 details more.
to pluck the courage to do more stuff i wanna do.
to speak up more, and not be affected by nerves.
to not be so scatterbrained, and not hide in people's shadows.
etc..
but we should all start small and take baby steps right?
heheh. i need to..

ARGH. I NEED A BREAK.NOW.
haha. got that out of my system(:

moving on..
i thought of this awesome surprise, but it'll have to wait.
haha. hope i rmb it still, or else it'll be wasted..

time passes so fast right.. my FAVOURITE holiday is over:( boohoo..
oh well... christmas christmas, come back soon..
i cant wait for this time next year(:
FREEDOM ALWAYS TASTES SO SWEET<3
but from now until then.. fat hope.
i'm gonna grit my teeth and strive for the best.
i need to stop making people take me as a joke.im not dumb!

happiness is elusive.
please god. help me catch hold of it.
let me not have anymore restless nights..
help me reserve my judgement.
and please dear lord, help me make the right choices.
thank you for the opportunities i have. the luck i have..
in jesus' name. Amen.

Benjamin Disraeli:-
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.

cool right?

2010-01-04T03:47:00.001-08:00

my first video:D:D

escape.from this spiralling downward cycle.

2010-01-03T00:50:00.000-08:00

argh. im utterly frustrated with myself.

i wish life has an escape button.

it's in a whirl.
loads to think about, nothing to say.

NOTE TO SELF.
dont think so much.

i've always wanted to be first with someone;
the person someone thinks about before they think about anyone or anything else.

doubting tiffany.

2009-12-10T14:03:00.000-08:00

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF.

i just woke up from some stupid nightmare.
and cant get to sleep.

i know i promised my next post to be happier,
but i just cant do it.
i just cant let go.

if u knew i'll be upset then why do it?

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers. ~Mary Tyler Moore

i told you. but yet...?
it's not about double standards, it's about wat i feel is right and wat u feel is wrong.
u dont know the guilt i keep feeling.
but now, thanks.
im completely freed.

im resisting the temptation
to send something i'll regret.
but,
WTF. MY SANITY'S AT STAKE.
i need to scream!!

NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MINE.
please let that stupid fact set in.
ARGH.

because of this, im awake at 530?
and my stupid comp's not cooperating.
RAWR.

i swear i hate facebook.
and online really has no difference from msging.

i give up.
give me some time to let go.

Jealousy... is a mental cancer. ~B.C. Forbes

i know it's wrong. haha. time to let go.
yet it's a super difficult task for me.
im all exhausted..
just trying to not think.

i really dont want to feel this way.
PLEASE understand that, and dont come up with all these logic.
it's my fault. i know.
so stop rubbing it in my face.

depression..

2009-12-07T04:21:00.000-08:00

omfg. wat's wrong with me.
i have no mood to write but need to let it all out.
what the 'all' is, im not sure.
all i know is that, im sad.

im well aware of my bad habit now;
to dwell upon my unhappiness but not do anything about it.
...it's all about how much i want it,.. right?
but yet, i cant help but feel upset.
most of the times, i dont do anything cuz i dont know what 2 do.
the feeling of being boxed in is extremely common now.

am i just too stubborn?

argh, i need to stop procrastinating.
i need to get a grip of myself,
and make the right decisions.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same
-Anne Frank

SPEED BUMP AHEAD.

2009-12-04T02:12:00.000-08:00

--blogging havent been a compelling enough reason for me to switch on my comp.

HEADS UP, EMO POST AHEAD.

got loads of inspiration today.
that's not good. it totally means that something changed.
is it me, or u?
i guess i need to get it out.
if not, im driving myself insane thinking wat i did wrong.

im a joke. seriously. im doubting my own happiness.WTF.

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand ya
Most everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for a while?

'I smiled to many people for more than a billion times; but when I first saw you, my heart took over and smiled for the first time.'

what is wrong with me.argh.
why cant i let it all go.
okay, after this ranting, im gonna get over it.(: promise.

No, but you won't let me
You upset me, girl, and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can't remember what you did
But I hate it

i've been reading books.
and one line went like this:
'it's a kind of period where everything appears to be in glorious technicolour. Joy or despair. Gloom or unparalleled happiness.'
it's talking about teenagers generally.
technically i should be out of it already.
am i dramatising all these?
tell me won't u?

i wished i could be carefree.
not jealous, not anything.
even emotionless..

You know exactly what to do
So that I can?t stay mad at you
For too long, that?s wrong
But, I hate it

i dont feel unhappy, at all.
but if u mentioned it, maybe there's sth wrong.
as some chinese saying goes: there wont be any smoke without fire.
so i've been racking my brains to figure out what's up.
what have gone wrong? that i look so listless, not like the past.
until now, my mind's still blank.
i still have no idea what made you doubt me. it's terribly hurting.
and because i kept questioning my own emotions, my brain has been in havoc.

yesterday's call was hell.
it sucked ttm.
one word to describe it would be: disaster, i would think.
your words have been echo-ing in my mind.
over and over and over and over and...
it hurts u tink that way.
dont know if it's the way u put it,
but it feels extra hurting..an extra dose of chilli powder.

You know exactly how to touch
So that I don?t wanna fuss and fight no more
Said, I despise that I adore you

why do our arguments never cease?
u said it yourself.
it used to be fight-and-immediately-end.
now the unhappiness is brought over.
am i not doing enough, or are u?
this is not the blaming game i know, i just want to know why.
so i can stop this.

what u said and all..
leaves me wondering whether u are happy at all.

i cant even bring myself to smile anymore.
and i used to love to smile.

And I hate how much I love you, boy
I can?t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you, boy
But I just can?t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

maybe you're right, we've put too much pressure on ourselves.
it's no longer is fun anymore.

maybe we might see what's happening and laugh.
cracks are beginning to appear.
rough patch u say? maybe, maybe not.
has the cracks been there all these while, or has it just appeared?
a vicious cycle is beginning, and i dont know how to stop it.
i dont even know where to begin./
is this just the beginning? or is it the end.

'Someone' once told me i complicate things.
maybe i do? maybe i should just start breaking it in the weakest part..
but what exactly is the weakest part? u tell me.
i despise my feeble attempts. we must work through this tgt, HWH.
dont u agree, please....?

easier said than done. am i just stubborn or...?
why cant i see what's wrong?!
*frustrated.
maybe im too obsessed with the mediocre stuff,
and i forgot to notice the important part.

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact
That I love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain?t right

oh i realised i dont want a fast-paced lifestyle, a life that i have to rush.
but i dont have a choice.
you say i do, but i really hate the time spent travelling.
makes me feel like im wasting time.
that's why i dread leaving, procrastinating til the last minute.
then i end up having to rush.
gosh, im lazy, I know that too. thanks.
im full of contradictions, i hate that about me.

And I hate how much I love you, girl
I can?t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you, girl
But I just can?t let you go
But I hate that I love you so

'There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.'

i hope we wont ever have an expiry date.
i place my happiness in your hands.
everybody's happiness is in someone's else's hand.
do you want 2 crush it or cherish it?

'One of these days, maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me, yay
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you

i am to not be late.
i dont want to pay the price.

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I hate that I love you so

'Happiness is falling asleep next to you and waking up thinking I'm still in my dreams.'

let's put away all the unhappiness and start afresh.
alright?
i wonder whether there's anything i can do.
can i be more courteous?
how about more understanding..?
perhaps stop making jokes about things that are not funny to you?
and of course, not being late.
anything, i'm willing to do.

i dont love you less.
but it's hard to progress
yet, i want to. please..?

P.S. when u told me it's 80%,
i really felt sad. i understand ur logic.
i guess im a romantic at heart, but i cant stand thinking that u...
nvm, i should be grateful alr.

And I hate how much I love you,
boy I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you, girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so, so

amidst everything, i might find a rainbow.
i hope. and pray.

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. -Benjamin Disraeli

:( life's a hassle.JEALOUSY IS A CRIME.

2009-12-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

found this on some blog:

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals...built the Titanic

pretty damn good.

anyway, this is not the point.

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. ~William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693

Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits. ~Paul Eldridge

He that is not jealous is not in love. ~St. Augustine

i need to let go. i really need to let go.

argh. SOME people are carefree.*ahem ahem.*
haha but others, like me, are not.

but im being denied the right of being jealous.
i never want to feel that heart wrenching emotion ever,
but yet i just cant help it.
on top of that, i can feel the pressure of NOT feeling jealous.

argh. how how how.i try so hard, but it's just not working.

nvm. on the side note, i made it as an OGL(:
with liwenn and my vball peeps.
not really excited. dont know why.
but i guess it'll be fun (:
just hope that my studies would be able to cope.
i alr feel so dumb, dont tink i can get the results i want..

argh. emo emo.
i hate ytd night.
arguments are not my forte.
i guess i must be thankful for many many things though :)

Dear lord,
please give me the peace of mind.
the strength to live my life the way i want it.
the courage to stand up for wat is right.
the will to change.
and the heart to be grateful for all things, big or small.
Thank you for being my support, through it all.
Amen.

MY BRAIN IS JUST SCREWED BIG TIME.
argh. dont know whether it's just me.

`LALALA~ euphoria.

2009-11-30T08:31:00.000-08:00

over the moon.
NOPE. the sun :D ~brighter.

when i know u're there for me,
i feel so much better :D

Henry Clay:
Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the gratefully and appreciating heart.

going sentosa tmr!
whee~

but there's trng afterwards:/
oh well. im kinda resigned to it alr. haha.
it WILL NOT dampen my mood(:

out of the loop.. into the jungle.

2009-11-29T04:41:00.000-08:00

oops. i havent been blogging much.. oh wells.. i've been bored out of my wits. nothing to do, at all. maybe training:/ i guess im like living a mundane life, like no thought provoking shit happened. i feel kinda left out though, like detached from my surroundings, and like totally unaware of wat's going on. at all. why am i always so lethargic and all? gosh, i hate my inactivity. i know im always not home, but im just going school, tuition and what-not. what if my life becomes a movie? will people pay 2 watch it? maybe? maybe not? the 1st part maybe? with all the mayhem, but it'll be like blurred cuz im a dumb kid.

“Whoever starts out toward the unknown must consent to venture alone”. Andre Gide

for all that it is worth, i guess though i've got maybe regrets,
my life has been relatively alright.
amongst the bouts of courage and excitement.

haha.oh well, nvm.
let's see wat's there interesting recently,
which i have been too lazy to blog..
haha hmm, after the bintan trip,
-vball trngs! :/
oh oh, the bimbo cheers are quite funny!

Oh my god, I think I need a manicure The sun, I swear, is burning through my gorgeous hair 16-24, I don't even know the score Win win, fight fight! Gee, I hope I look alright

-vball outing.. loves.
we played pool and I SUCK! haha. oh well. bad luck..
-tuition. bleahs.
need i say more?

oh and i went for a indian funeral.
it's quite upsetting.. why do people have to die?
i read this really cute quote from some kid:
Dear God, why do you want to keep making new people?
why not keep the ones you have now?
kids have their own cute logic dont u think?(:

i CANT BELIEVE IT'S JUST A WEEK SINCE I'VE BEEN BACK.
it's like dragging on and on and on..
. S. Elliot
-Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time.

haha oh ya today i wore fisherman pants(:
they are cooling and super duper cool.
TWIN, LOOK HERE! :P
\they are not for aunties ok! bleahx.
haha but i keep tripping over the hems:/
haha im a loser!
and proud of it(:

haha oh and watched like random vids.
like 'antique bakery'/.
it's about this bakery, some gay dude "of demonic charm" and a group of guys.
haha it's appealing in a funky way.

oh ya that reminds me, how 2 upload videos her?!?1
someone teach me!:P

and now, im like watching 'Bring It On'
haha it suddenly occurred to me that abi said it's quite nice. haha

Oh, that’s why the sky is so gray today. All the blue is in your eyes.

when will you be back?
hurry wont u?

the small things in life we dont tend to treasure.
until we try to reach out and grab hold of it, we realise they are not there.
then, we realise these small things might even be more important,
than the things we treasure the most.

by doing nothing, one does something afterall.

2009-11-22T01:32:00.000-08:00

letters can be windows to your soul,
they can help carry ur innermost thoughts to your loved ones.
especially if u find it hard to say out loud.
letters are a source of comfort,
allowing one to know exactly how the other feels.
letters are cool in their own special way.

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. ~Phyllis Theroux
im still lazy to blog about my trip.
haha im just being lethargic and procrastinating.
sorry.

reality sets in..

2009-11-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

omg, im finally back from BINTAN. it has been great, but dont know why it feels even greater to be back home. for a while i was smiling like crazy. my last moments of the trip really sucked though. why do i have to be seasick! argh, all ur fault, ____ ! i was writing some shit! haah..
ohwell. my trip's been awesome. the children so cute and all!!! <3 love love.
but now im so lethargic, i dont want reality to set in. its amazing how that bubbly feeling u have goes away that fast.in bintan i can sorta run away from all these, but i guess i knew it's not the solution. i have to face it now. everything's topsy turvy./
when will everything be back to normal?
should i trust u? can i believe u?

now i gotta go tuition :/
will be back to tell u more about my trip.
it's fo funny, im so worried i'll forget everything,
i actually kept a journal.
but i'm too lazy to type all, i'll just give a concise 1.
LATER! ja ne~

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden." Claudia Ghandi

goin, going, GONE.

2009-11-14T04:00:00.000-08:00

by this time tmr, i'll be in bintan.
wonder how it'll feel like?

recently i've been so busy and tired out i didnt blog://
but im going, and i cant blog for a whole week, so i better blog now..
(though i should be doing my packing :P)

my dog's awesome.
she's damn smart..
:) she reminded me of my instant noodles..
though for awhile i was too dumb 2 realise..

The brave may not live forever, but the cautious don't live at all. - Ashley L.

im worried for OCIP..
will i upset anyone?
will the people there accept me?
of course it'll be difficult, but will i cope?
will i miss you, one and all?
but at the same time, there's excitement mixed with fear..
i've never done sth like this before.. :)
hope i'll impact the lives of these people..

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. -Mother Teresa

lemme c what's there..
my OGL interview went sort of alright?
but i'm quite sad about my lack of personality..
im such a dull kid:/
dont think i'll be able to make it..
BUT I REALLY REALLY WANT IT.

hmm, the whole week was hectic, the preparations for the trip were alot.
i feel like a slacker, like im always absorbed in some book..
haah,.. and plus the trngs, cmi.
but i guess after almost a year, im used to it? haha
but im always dreading trng..
zZZz.. when will i enjoy it??
waking up early takes a toll on me.
on recent mornings, i hate waking up,
and always will ask: why on earth is acjc so far?!
this totally mutes my emotions.. :/
at least my showing of it.

i dont know what im gonna do without ___?
haha.
im gonna miss my HPYs, and my friends and my bed,
and my computer.. and.. and.. ARGH.

OH OH i cant wait to open all of it! haha
but i keep my promises =P
and wont succumb to temptation! AHAH.
i guess it'll spoil the fun..

dont be upset,
i'll be back! HAHA

“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.”
Charles Dickens quotes

i just wanna cry to my heart's content.

2009-11-11T07:23:00.001-08:00

you gave me courage, you're my support.
but would that be enough?
i'm already overly-dependent as it is,
what happens when you're not there?

Remember those walls I built
Well Baby they are turning down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

courage is needed in times of failure
im an all-round failure;
i need all the courage i can get.

It's like I've been awaken
Every rule I had to break
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't never gonna shut you out

had i had lower expectations;
i wont be so disappointed, so upset.
but do i want to lower my expectations?
nope.
i must really stop settling with what i have.
im living in this bubble world.
it's gonna burst anytime.
alwyas 'nvm' gets me nowhere.

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray won't fade away

being content is not about settling for what i get but rather what i can get.
everytime i fail i set lower goals.
i blame this and that; never myself.
it took me long enough 2 realise.
i better start bucking up now.

I can do your halo
I can see your halo
I can be your halo
I can see your halo

i cant steel myself whenever i feel upset or nervous.
even when there's nothing to worry about.
i just CANT get rid of this feeling at all.
I HATE IT HATE IT.
whenever i c one who's able to maintain their composure.
i feel so envious.
am i just stubborn?

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkness night
You're the only one that I want
You got addicted to your lie
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity camed again
To pull me back to the ground again

tmr's my OGL interview,
i tried to delay it. the truth is: i'm scared.
why am i so afraid to pursue anything?
either i lose interest or i'm get scared.
not of doing it; but rather the thought of failing.
SHAKE OUT OF IT.
my gloomy mood is setting in again. SHOO. GO AWAY.
my mind's so weak. why?!

im just tired.
god, HELP.

P.S. dont be upset i have to so indirectly tell u how i feel.
it's just difficult for me u c?
i'm afraid to be a burden. and im used to keeping it all in..

again the word afraid. when will i be brave?

“Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.”Tom Krause

“If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much.”

gross ttm.

2009-11-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

this is gross right??!!
eww..
and i saw a rat scurrying past me just now.
damn sick.. :/

omg blog soon.
im all tired out.

This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.

-- Bridges of Madison County

this shortlived peace never lasts.

2009-11-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

my sole companion ; with me through thick and thin. :) loves.

there's nothing else i want to say.
would u believe me?

because someone keeps complaining..

2009-11-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

.. that i've been lazy and not blogging.
im damn tired, so this will be a short 1.
i need to write the appeal letter shit lah.

today has been a great day.
i ate brownie, and ice cream and dessert!
what better life is there to this??:D

If you love something, let it go. If it’s meant to be, it will come back to you.And if it doesn't come back, it was never really yours to start with.

found this off the internet. MEANINGFUL HUH?

i guess this is one of the crucial things we have to learn in life.
if u hold on too tight, it's just like a kite,
it'll never learn to fly, or even worse, the string will break, and it'll fly furthur then before.
but what if one wants itself to be held on to tightly..
will this same principle apply?

So I’ll let you go I’ll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you
Come back to me

Take your time I won’t go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I keep your things right where you left them I’ll be here for you

And I’ll let you go I’ll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you
Come back to me

I hope you find everything that you need
I’ll be right here waiting to see
When you find you
Come back to me

I can’t get close if you’re not there
I can’t get inside if there’s no soul to bare
I can’t fix you, I can’t save you
It’s something you have to do

David Cook- 'Come Back to Me'

i guess my blog's like abstract for those people who im not saying all these to;
i would apologise, but i've come to realise that i shouldnt.
my blog's for me to rant, so yeah:)

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
George Carlin

a brush from the past made me feel disoriented.
for so long, i've forgotten.
how i feel, you say?
guilt? maybe.
sorrow that it didnt work out? maybe.

the truth is, i dont know.
and i dont really care to find out.
im happy now, and i hope you are happy too.
good luck, and thanks for letting me know u care.
i cant bear the complications anymore, and like someone once said:
it's all for the greater good.
indeed.

i got this from some website:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

true?(:

btw, OP was horrible.
i was a nervous wreck, and i dont even know why.
mr lim's damn nice! but still, i guess it was the ambience.

my OCIP trip to bintan's next week.
i've got mixed feelings..
happy that i got such an opportunity,
worried that i didnt do enough;
sad that i'll miss the people here.
nervous that they wont like me.

oh and my OGL interview.
i dread going into the interview.
i detest worrying that i might not make the cut.again.
the fear of failure is indeed arresting.
i've no courage and no guts.
hope god gives me the inner peace and ability to do it. amen.
i'm like procrastinating it.. just like my other work..
shit shit shit shit shit.

"If you believe you can, you probably can.
If you believe you won't, you most assuredly won't.
Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad."
Denis Waitley

lucky

2009-11-05T06:24:00.000-08:00

i guess luck is how u perceive it.
since i have OP tmr, (wish me luck!>.<) i'll write a short post.

i wanted to buy socks but i'm short of 5 cents! out of 11 bucks.wat are the chances?!?!
CHARADES is the funnest game ever! <3
walking in the rain is quite fun.. sorta.
i am so not prepared.
the hospital cheated me of 25 bucks//

walking in the rain.

2009-11-04T07:18:00.000-08:00

lalala~
im one lucky girl(:
yay..

although i had muscle aches and all,
all was still good.
im lazy to post :P

but i wanna tell the whole world,
IM NOT GOING SCHOOL TMR:D
at least not officially!~

haah:D yay. oh shit im getting into trouble.

something lost that is found.

2009-11-03T03:43:00.000-08:00

the best part of breaking up is the making up. - Gerard Butler

Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain
Time starts to pass before you know it you're frozen

it sucks when you feel that u're not good enough,
when everything seems to go all wrong.
today feels just like that.
the main focus was of course my results,
on the side, there are unconscious remarks that hurt.
more deeply than it was intended to be.
DISCLAIMER: whatever im saying, dont take it to heart?
it's neither good nor bad. it's just my feelings.
i want u to be comfortable with me, and i like it this way.(:
really. it's good for my character.

You make me want to be a better man.

-- Jack Nicholson, "As Good As It Gets"

But something happened for the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground, found something true
And everyone's looking 'round, thinking I'm going crazy

i'm glad i stored some of my thoughts in my phone,
lucikily, cuz i have stm. (short term memory.)
firatly b4 i forget,
i really wanna thank those who knew i wasnt feeling too good.
jr and melvin and lionel.ur little pats on the back, the encouragements y'all whispered.
like 'it's alright, dont cry..' these really helped.
oh i also saw that others went out of their way to ensure that words that might hurt me doesn't reach my ears. FOR ALL THESE PEOPLE, I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL.
i might not look or react like i bothered but it's just cuz i didnt have the courage to face u all, im worried i'll cry when i look into your concerned faces.

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing

the fear of failure has always held me back,
why? i need to free myself from these. will you help?
today i really felt like i'm suffocating.
when i got back my results, i was upset (understatement) and u knew it.
when i looked into your face, i knew i musnt cry.
i dont even have the courage to cry; to face up to my fears.
what's wrong with me?
i didnt want to cry in front of them, and especially not in front of u.
i guess u're right, i dont want to show u im weak.
i dont want u to know how bad i am for u, tt im not good enough.
A front i've always been putting up, all my life.
many think i have it easy, why is it so hard to put up one in front of u?
i dont want to bluff u, but yet i know it'll upset u.
i guess im selfish, i no longer want to contain it but rather, want to share with someone.
i almost lost it just now, when i left, fortunately i didnt.

You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

when u said: wat if i get den u dont? den u'd be angsty.
i know u said it jokingly, but that really struck a chord within me.
i guess i alr knew i wont get it, it's an image i portray. which hopefully can change by next year.
U on the other hand is the epitome of perfection. hahaa.
but the point is i saw my reflection.
it showed me that whenever u do better i'd be angsty and that is not what i want to be.
U knew that i'd be unhappy when i lose to u.
Regardless what, u'd forever be one step ahead.i'm not being spiteful here.
i guess im not competing with u alr.. tired.. haha.
i want u to know that im proud of you.
i want to be just like u, so human yet so perfect.
perfection in imperfection?
i guess that's the perfect phrase. so apt, dont you think?(:
hopefully, one day u'd come to realise i'm utterly happy for u, with no jealousy whatsoever.
cuz that's exactly what i strive to do.
u say a leopard cant change it's spots right?
what if its spots are painted on?
what if the leopard is actually a tiger?(:

Trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal is to keep me from falling

recently have been filled with many eureka moments.one of which is:
what small little things i take for granted may not be little things afterall.
whatever god gave me is a gift,
but i have to do all i can to actually keep that gift. not just to let it rot.

But nothing's greater than the rush
That comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness I see your face
Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe

there are many lessons to be learnt in life, if we paid for all would we be broke?
im being a pessimist. TIFFANY TAN GRAB A HOLD OF YOURSELF.
i need to work harder, to gain control of my life and steer it in the right direction.
i no longer want to portray myself as a bimbo. MUST NOT.

being in AC have been good for me.
i grew SO much as a person, both mentally and physically.
i know more about myself.. i learnt so much..
my flaws are exposed such that i can correct them.
For all that it saddens me that i have flaws, i know im imperfect from day one,
it's good for me and the thought of me being better, makes me smile.

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing

should i keep it? or should i drop it? do i even stand a chance to hold on to it?

i thought i had the guts to get it over and done with.
to sit with them and have a good talk.
apparently not.
dear lord, thank you for knowing my fears, and helping me relieve them.

You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

on a side note, bubble tea is cancerous.
I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT I MUST NOT DRINK IT
i must psycho myself cuz i've been drinking it daily =P dang.
addiction.

And it's draining all of me
Oh, they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see

chance allowed me to come across it;
wisdom allowed me to grab hold of it;
love to hold on to it ♥

everybody has a label. be it a wife, daughter, girlfriend, best friend etc.
i'm glad to be able to label u as mine. (:

thanks for being my pillar of support.
my eternal comfort. my own ecstasy pill <3
just a smile and all's forgotten.
that's what i've always been praying for.
now my dream's finally coming true. thanks for being my dream.

You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love

wonder what i'll do if u're gone.

If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?

-- Casper

why are girls always portrayed to be shorter?

2009-11-01T16:38:00.000-08:00

oh man. i gtg trng ://
Zzzz..
and b4 that i have to walk my dog:(

my irresponsible ahem didnt walk,
and she neva even ask whether i can.

and mrs choong ask us to go collect our i&r..
i got to fill up my OGL form and hand it up to..
hopefully i can get in.. >.<

"I must do something" always solves more problems than
"Something must be done."
Author Unknown

i'm gonna eat breakfast myself:/
sounds sad,
but i kinda like the peace.. :)

i was reading through the rest of the posts,
i realised many things have changed.
i have changed, my surroundings too..

change is inherent, but it might not be good.
but i guess it's up to us to make the most of it.

Some men go through a forest and see no firewood.
English Proverb

If a star fell for every time I’ll think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

2009-11-01T03:29:00.000-08:00

yay! yay! yay!
i did whatever i wanted to do(:
productive weekend.(:

i cut my hair and bought my nice hot shoes(:

im sorry mommy, the shoes abit ex:(
but they are love-ly!! argh..
i heart them many many:D (although they're a bit pinkish..)

"Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you." Elvis Presley

it's all going downhill now.

2009-10-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

ever felt like u're rolling downhill,
and u just cant stop?
that's exactly how i feel.

my trip to my grandma's house had to be cancelled cuz my sis cant wake up,
and we have been waiting for her.
and i was so looking forward to it.

damn.

i'm damn hungry. and i've got to get my own food:((
im scared to go tuition, cuz my chem grade sucks.
my twin aint coming today and it's gonna be sucky.

NOTE to self: buy dinner home as well.

why cant i eat homecooked food anymore??
i miss my life when the laundry was done by my maid, and my mom's not tt stressed.
when my clothes dont get mixed up cuz my maid knows exactly whose clothes belong to whom.
household chores are now becoming a source of conflict.

oh dang, i need to go buy food and go tuition now.
bye:)

greed is the failure of mankind.

2009-10-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

haha my cute little dog is so scared of the vacuum,
she's running around in hopes of finding a safe place.
i need 2 comfort her..! she's damn cute.

the recent days have been hectic.
haha maybe that's why i didnt blog.
it's all filled with vball, school and pw.

my luck's not been very good lately,
dont know whether it's stress or otherwise.
oh wells, i wont gripe about it.
i guess my life's filled with sweet moments too..

school's not really been good for me.
it's excruciating.
im not performing well.
and i feel so dumb next to the people in my class..
it's upsetting.
i keep telling myself to work hard, but it's just not in my nature.
damn.

maybe this will be a wake up call to me.
and i'll heed it with all my heart.

vball's alright?
i'm not really improving as well as the rest.
i always feel like a calefare.
it's not tt i mind sitting out, but i really wanna be good at sth.
i've been average, always has been.
i must train really hard.

is it cuz i'm not suited to do anything?
or it is cuz i dont work hard enough.
i've been reflecting.
god, i wish i'll change.

i guess i cant just change,
i need to put in effort.? hopefully i'll learn to be more like u.

If you can dream it, you can do it.
Walt Disney

talking about effort.
i tink 24 hrs is not enough.
not enough at all.
i've been sleeping really late, at like 2 in the morning.
but im still not sure whether i should get the A i want so badly.
dont really noe whether our wr is good enough.

but on a lighter note, i wanna thank my pw group members.
they have been great :) unlike _____!
i'll just die if they are ANYTHING like them/
thanks for the effort u all put in and all.
y'all willingly put in effort and time..
the meetings we had, had always been filled with fun and laughter.
our joke on kai siang was epic.
god, i love yall. <3

oh my blog sounds totally emo.
oh well, i have ranted all i should.
i dont know why recently i've been angsty.
especially with some people.
im sorry for my short fuse. really sorry.

jealousy is a huge green monster, and it's always lurking about.
the smallest thing bring about a surge of unhappiness.
im sorry.

haha on with the funner stuff(:
i've been having cravings,
so far, i've left these few unsatisfied cravings:
1. prata!
2. famous amos:)
3. yakult.
and i cant rmb wat else.
hhaa i swear im like weird.
hahaa. and they are all food.

i cant wait to cut my hair, get my shoes and vball.
six years doesn't seem too long, does it?(:

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

-- Annie

i dont see any rainbow.

2009-10-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

recently, it kinda sucks.

i feel dumb.
and like a calefare.

damn.
damn.
damn.

disappointed ttm.

2009-10-23T13:20:00.000-07:00

im letting my sis rattle on,
but i kinda have no idea what she's talking.

oh man, i feel so sorry.
im so moody, i'd rather be left alone.
when i woke up, i just ___.
i even went to my sister. im damn desperate.
haha.

oh man, i hope ___ wakes up soon.
i need to hear another voice.
please please, hear my plea.
im such a disturbance.
but still hopefully, can you feel my anguish?

oh well, im gonna try sleep again.
my head hurts. later i dont know how im gonna 2 ply the amazing race thing.
somebody once told me everyday is a new day; a new beginning.
but now, i cant tink of anything except what happened ytd.

im sorry for causing so much unhappiness when i'm not happy.
i hate being angsty, and i hate upsetting others more.
im so selfish, not putting on a facade.
but thanks for trying.(:

maybe it's just not meant to be.

dear lord,
please give me strength to face the day.
help me cheer up.
and give me peace. thanks.
Amen.

perfection in imperfection

2009-10-22T04:28:00.000-07:00

i guess it's not about who's better but about whose flaws u can tolerate.
afterall, what's the definition of a"better" person?
difficult to say right?

i tink i've got a heightened sense of emotions.
not that i can grasp people's emotions well,
but rather every small action one makes,
i'll think :' is she upset?'
this is damn retarded, cuz for example,
just the lack of a smiley will make me doubt myself.
did i do sth wrong? why is she upset?
i tink i think too much.

once, somebody told me that most people wont tell you exactly what they feel.
there cant be brutal honesty.
i guess, like everybody else, im averse to insults.
that's not good, sth i feel tt i must improve on.
but now, cuz of this phrase,
i start to doubt sometimes..
do they really mean this? or is it just cuz they wanna not hurt my feelings?
it's so hard! life's complicated enough, why complicate it more?

oh man, im gonna eat dinner den type I&R.
then i'll continue this post.
i cant procrastinate anymore. dang..

a girl's intuition. is most probably true.

2009-10-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

man oh man oh man.
WHAT TO DO!
HAHA. i tink im retarded.
like i not even sure whether it's me,
but surely both can coexist?
i dont want to choose.. :/
3 yrs mean alot. and always will..
yep, if u're truly upset, talk 2 me abt it?

omg. i feel retarded. bet it's not me.
haha.
den im a fool.

i dont tink im impt enough to affect u so much..?
haha. oh wells.
shit today i dont need to sleep alr,
WR+OP+I&R= die.
(:

god save me.
please?

P.S. mr koh mentioned our grades for promos.
i got a bad premonition. dang.
why it is that expectations for us is so high?
i cant work under pressure. really really cant.

argh many things are worrying me.
i tink im gonna screw up my OP.
my nervous energy cant just disappear like that.

i really really hope i can keep my 4th H2..
and like no teacher would come talk 2 me.
especially not for chem.//

the past is holding me back.
since i dealt out this advice, i have to do it:
time to move on.
tiffany, you must learn from your mistakes,
but dont be afraid to fall just cuz you fell too harshly previously.
true courage is when you find the strength to run again after you fell.

hmm, i tink today i realised how impt promises are to me.
even small promises, i hope 2 keep.
Character is formed during big times, but tested during small times.
when you tink no one is looking, that's when you'd be tempted.
i can really feel the temptation at times.
and i felt a sense of joy and peace when i didnt succumb to it.
:)

frustrated.shit.damn.

2009-10-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you dont say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
Theres a truth in your eyes saying youll never leave me
The touch of your hand says youll catch me when ever I fall
You say it best..when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as they may they can never define
Whats been said between your heart and mine
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes

i think i'm incapable of love, don't u?
it must be the genes dont u tink? :/

what exactly is wrong with him?
i really don't understand why he must do all these?
then, what exactly is wrong with her?
why must she suffer, why does she choose to drag it on?
maybe im heartless, but i just cant take it anymore.
one day they'll be arguing, the next nothing is wrong.
isn't that being hypocritical?, i cant even figure out what the situation is like now.
it hurts seeing them so sad, but there's nth i can do.
i might seem like i dont care, but it's just that i can express it.
help>.<

The touch of your hand
Lets me know that you need me..

(you say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

expressing myself is so hard. how how how.
my EQ is low, i cant cope.
i really need to tell people i appreciate them but it's difficult
i guess they know who they are:(this is for you.)
thanks; for allowing me to share my troubles with you.
thanks; for the support u gave me
thanks; for having fun and going crazy with me.
thanks; for making me smile whenever i spot you
thanks; for being my friend.

i ♥ you all. loads and loads and loads... =)

im counting my blessings.
every single day.
& im glad you're there for me.
hopefully forever :)
♥

when reality gets a grip on you.

2009-10-20T04:22:00.000-07:00

emo-ing~
oh man, fb predicts my luck 2 be 6%
at the rate it's going, yeah :/
i wont say im unlucky, just that my day isnt going too well.
when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

our WR is due like really soon, and after editing some stuff,
i realised there's alot to be done.
why cant i just be happy with my com, why must i find it repulsive, why?
now, i need to use my com so much, i hate it.
AND i still have to type out my I&R to hand in tmr!!! god, save me.

today isnt very good, at first it was alright,
when suddenly we had an argument.
although we might get over it really fast, i hate arguing with u.
i'll feel all shitty inside.
u always sound reasonable; im not.
today was particularly bad.
i felt trapped in a box.
i wanted to find a solution but yet, there's no exit.
im sorry i became frustrated, but i really feel if u dont like me 2 do it,
then i wont.
why complicate things right? now we're both unhappy.
:/ oh man, you might mind this alot cuz of what happened,
but i really really wont get upset. 'invading your privacy'?
that's bullshit. i'd give it all up, u know.

anws. today's sel was quite fun..
from liwenn's description, i expected it to be like hell.
luckily the trainer's damn good(:
i laughed til my stomach wanted to burst..
hahah. and i learn alot of useful things.
for me, one who cant communicate well and have low EQ,
it certainly did me a lot of good.
not that my memory allows me to rmb what i learnt, maybe i'll go revise it all over.
haha. thank you lord, for allowing me a chance to improve myself and how i work with others.

my trip home was exceptionally long,
my bad mood making it seem furthur than usual..
Today, certain stuff triggered me to think about my past.
my past that i desperately want to forget.
but i guess it's my past afterall, it's what made me me.
anw, i was looking back; wondering, thinking.
i was on the bus and saw the basketball court.
it didnt happen too long ago, but things changed so much.
did it all really happen?
i was pondering in the morning. things happen aso fast.
i was struck with a realization: im growing up.
but am i maturing fast enough? that's super hard to guage.
oh man.

besides that, i was helping my dad search for a dvd.
while doing that, it struck me that i feel like a failure when i cant help someone.
anyone in fact.
like, when i couldnt find the dvd, i was very disappointed.
i was reminded of the times when people ask me for directions,
and since im bad at directions, i cant give them what they want.\
it's very upsetting and i feel that i let them down.
im sorry. but i guess as long as i tried my best, i shouldnt feel guilty right?
somehow my sense of guilt haunts me still.

oh well on a positive note, when there's a will, there's a way.
im amazed at what god did. He allowed me to find that dvd.
maybe this seems very insignificant, but yet to me, especially today, it meant a great deal.
maybe it's cuz im upset,..
but God really showed me He truly wants me to be happy, truly truly loves me.
Hegave me hope when im moody.
im amazed at the precise timing at which He extends his helping hand.
dear Lord, thank you for looking out for me, little old me.And for watching over me.Amen.

although today wasn't the best of all days,
it makes up one of the days in my mundane life.

life's like a roller-coaster, full of its ups and downs.
there's nothing you can do about it except wait for the ride to end.
just grip on tight and hope for the best.
enjoy the times when it's good; clench your teeth and endure the tough times too.

Oh baby, I know sometimes it gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

And it gets me upset
Girl when you're constantly accusing
Askin' questions like you already know
We're fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
This ain't the way that love is supposed to go

rawr.

2009-10-19T03:38:00.000-07:00

omfg, i feel cheated.
haha i can go be a dishwasher/ fruit peeler..:/
just cuz he and her ____ , i end up doing all these!
ahah i finally realised how tiring it is..
>.< if i have 2 peel, im not gonna eat fruits anymore!

i just realised today, just how susceptible i am to others' mood.
just cuz he raised his voice, i immediately felt scared and couldnt concentrate.
just because she blamed me, i felt sad and guilty.
what's with me and guilt?
i didnt do anything wrong, but yet my conscience still bugs me.
i just want everybody to be happy, is that difficult?

argh, i hate it when im scolded for sth i didnt do.
HATE HATE HATE.
perhaps it's a misunderstanding, but still i dont like being scolded.
i dont blame you, but u cant blame me either..?
is it so difficult 2 not get angry with me?
perhaps because you are impt to me,
your mood affects me ttm, please understand?
i know im always doing things wrong, but cut me some slack..?
sorry for the past,\sorry,\sorry in advance.

okay i shall not dwell on unhappy things :))
looking at my mobile phone, i'll smile uncontrollably :P
the jelly part's all true u know, i re-read it and got the same effect.
you are so m____. haha I SWEAR!

ok, ltr if i have more time i'll write more..
now, im gonna rush like crazy.~i got my script, I&R and finishing touches.
die die die~

we dont need the world right now,

2009-10-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

i fell in ♥ with pick up lines~

it's nt cheesy, it's cool:D

oh man, our trip to cut hair and watch fame no more:(
but nvm lah(: it's not cancelled, just postponed:D

haha.
i like twitter(:
even though i have no idea wat 2 post, just hope i got more people following and to follow:D

im uber frustrated today,
cant get even the simplest thing done.damn.
TIFFANY TAN. WORK, WORK WORK!
i keep thinking of food lah, wth.
i really must've been a pig. :/

even if the going gets rough, if u are there, i'm willing to HYH&WWY :D
i like this game we invented ♥
if you hold on, i will too.

did u know?

2009-10-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

declarations of love, jokes, or words of anger are best remembered when they are heard through the left ear, while instructions, directions and non-emotional messages have more impact on the right side.

It is all to do with how our brains process information. Although the left and right hemispheres, or sides, of the brain are similar structures, they have specialised functions. The left side, it is suggested, is more logic-based and dominant, while the right is the more imaginative side, more visual, intuitive, emotional and spatially aware. Because the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, the left ear has been shown in some research to be the route to the emotional side of the brain, and the right ear to the non-emotional, logical side.

But it's not just ears that are affected. The right eye has been shown to be best for processing colours, the right foot is the most vulnerable to tickling, the left cheek the more favourable one to kiss, and the left side is the favoured one for holding babies.

oopsie daisy. :P

2009-10-17T09:14:00.001-07:00

haha i just found out there's this function and i wanted to use it/
i forgot to say some stuff:P
liwenn helped me set up twitter!:D 'teefahhnee'
go join! i'm in need of followers!!
recently, there was ac games:D it's not bad, quite fun((:
i discovered im accident prone!:/ oh wells
and that im lucky, such tt no matter how many times i get hurt, i cant die.
i ♥ my fabulous class!:D they join me doing crazy stuff. camwhoring, doing funky moves, cheering me on when im upset, the high fives mean alot to me, the pats on the backs, even the cheers. the class spirit was EXACTLY what i prayed for a year before (just b4 Os)
i understand more things than i have before.i grew up just a teensy weensy bit more(:
I MUST RESOLVE NOT TO PROCRASTINATE!:P try anws.. haha!

``happiness comes from within.

2009-10-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

happy HAPPY happy! :DD
hohhoho~~~~

hmm, recently i have no rants,
perhaps it's cuz i'm ALWAYS tired, but..
i really cant put my finger on the exact reason.

let's see, what did i do that i was so happy?
OH OH! I BOUGHT A BAG FOR 8 BUCKS(: and shoes for 10!!
YAY! even though, i had to shop, it's still all good..(;
HAHAH.
hmm, i ♥ lollipops, and camwhoring, and funky people who enjoy funky things:D
like me! and for many many things, i thank u lord.

to the one who's waiting for this blog post:
thanks((: for concerning yourself with me.
who knew it would turn out this way..?
for the greater good huh. haha
i've got a great many things to say to u but my mind's blanked.
u know what i want 2 say..I ____ U.
u know that right?
thanks for having great taste. haha. :/
i keep flipping through the pictures on my fone! haah
U LOOK FUNKY! :DD OH WELLS. what to do!
beauty's in the eye of the beholder. :P

hmm, oh btw i ♥ my nerd specs, (look up:D)

it might have been a cause of conflict,
a reason for people 2 call me weird.

but at the same time, it got my parents' approval,
and if i dont use it it's a waste of money:(

i really really hope that it looks good. :/
damn. oh wells, i'll still wear it(:
i'm wearing it now and it serves its purpose anw(:
i can see clearly, not like a blind bat of sorts,
and cuz it's big, i can see more!(: HAH! in your face. :P

just cuz you know me, i expect so much more from u.
sorry, it's difficult i know.
i'll learn to take only what u can give,
it's good enough. really.(:

i realised in life,
we must live and let live.
after reading someone else's blog i realised,
just how immature i am. i realised how childish i act.
;how dumb i really am (like a cuttlefish!:P)
does 1 yr really make that much of a difference?
i hope so, next year, maybe.
just maybe i'll be closer to her: my role model.
to learn to let go; to forgive easily.
to be understanding and be courageous. hopefully i can..

i just thought this song has a lot of meaning.
for ur boyfriend to be ur one true love, doesn't he have to be ur best friend too?
one who listens to all your problems, one whom YOU ACTUALLY WANT to tell ur problems to?

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

lucky ---- jason mraz
(P.S. u might wanna check the envelope//)
HAHA.

LIFE'S GOOD SO FAR.
looking back, so many things have changed.
for better or worse,
i wouldn't know
but there's no reverse button in life, neither is there an erase.
so, we'll have to move on; press on; carry on right?
no matter what, we'll give it our best shot.
ain't that right? Do you hear me, thanks.

it might no longer be u and me, but rather us.

because you love me./

2009-10-16T19:50:00.000-07:00

i'm blogging cuz SOME people complain my blog's dead.

omg.i hate inertia.
i haate it. i hate the way i procrastinate.
like there's no deadlines.

i've got many many things to do,
but.. im not doing any.
no motivation, no nothing!

hmm, is diwali=deepavali?
haha shit, im random.
i saw on fb! den im just wondering.
haha. oh well..
haah gtg(:

oh no, what am i gonna do?

2009-10-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

oh man, im sorry.
i dont know whether the one u mentioned there is me..
no wonder the mornings u're always pissed,
i was worried why u so angsty:/ didnt dare ask..
im sorry sorry sorry >.<
got loads to tell u :( dont be upset with me alr..
i feel bad, got loads of stuff alr..

my promos are all screwed up..
at least it;s over.
my chem paper is all wrong, it's like really die alr...
im gonna let my tutor down, let chan p.s. down, my dad, the whole world.
this is like aggravated by the fact that the rest being like geniuses.
and my maths and physics also die alr..
I NEED MY CCDE:(((
oh man. oh man. oh man. oh man. oh man.
plus, im sick:( got my sore throat, headache, cough, flu:/ im riddled with illnesses.

P.S.please please just keep ur word, and leave me alone?
it's upsetting, esp with so much pressure.
i've been sleeping really late and waking up really early..
im really extremely tired.. :/
i feel bad tt u're waiting in vain, but i really dont want 2 c u,
and this wont work out.please please move on..
for yourself, if not for me..

im supposed to be really happy now, but yet im not.
my friend, my _____ , my body.
this sucks.

"If Today Was Your Last Day"

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

ARGH PROMOS IN A DAYS' TIME.

2009-10-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

oh man, stressed ttm.
i wish u'all stop it.
stop reminding me, and buzz off pls.
i've got enough on my hands, i still think im gonna retain..
BUT I DONT WANT. I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO COPE MY NOTES, DONT WANT TO GRADUATE THE SAME YEAR AS HIM. haha.
i sound totally angst and angry.
okay lah, im not that angst. :S
stressed lah.
oh man, time's up. gonna do my work(:
hopefully.

wish me luck.:P

8 months, 26 days.

2009-09-28T06:22:00.000-07:00

POOF.
ALL GONE.
JUST LIKE THAT.

i'm sorry..

i've got many things to say,
it's all coming out in one big rush.
it's like riding a rollercoaster today. SCARY.
(sorry ita, i dont tink this post will be funny; no mood..)

i know im the one who initiated it,
i dont know, a whole lump of emotion is running through me.
i wished i could take away all that sorrow and put it on me.
:/ yet, i caused it.
whenever i make up my mind, i'll have second thoughts.
argh, it's so hard for me.. im sick and tired of everything.
im so sorry, it's not abt you..
i cant withstand great pressure, especially not now.

F**K.F**K.F**K.F**K.F**K.
now, it's even more screwed up then ever.
im like a deer in the headlights,
oh, how i wish the car would just get it over and done with and knock me down.
oh no, im being vulgar.. at least i censored it.

i guess im really inherently selfish,
innately self-centered..
it's hard for u too.:/
im sorry i had 2 see things from my point of view;
that it wont work out in the long run..
eventually the same thing will happen again..
this is so screwed..>.<
i've like 7 days left.. im gonna die..
i really cant concentrate on two things at 1 time..
please be happy, for both our sakes..
perhaps u'll want to spite me, but please do it for yourself..

on a side note,
perhaps, you (u know who u are) think tt i'm being retarded,
but i really really screwed it up.
im one damn selfish bitch. thanks for reminding me every single day.
as in im not being sarcastic, i really absolutely think so.

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You

And I wait on You

I will sing to You, Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

inexplicable sorrow.

2009-09-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

LOVES OF MY LIFE<3

unexplainable...weird huh?

suddenly i feel exhausted, maybe the late nights are finally taking a toll on me.
haha and of course others lah.
ultimately it's my decision, i guess i need 2 make a choice. :)

tired, pls dear Lord give me strength for each new day.
im growing weary, need a break..
oh and i pray for cookies. . :/
really..

oh man, time's running out.
and there's so much other stuff 2 worry abt.
when it rains, it floods.
after one is solved, another comes.. :/

the long awaited pictures are here:D
haha the greatest people/animal on the planet :D
ok, maybe ahem ahem* (ita should know!) not really my love, but it's the most current picture..
haha..if i say i love ___ , it'll be weird!
(NGOC AREN'T U HONOURED! IF U EVEN SEE THIS:D)
not even tt close to him -_-"
i'm warning those who keep saying all this shit abt me sticking to him.
im pissed.damn pissed. so u'all better shut ur mouths
cause IT'S NOT TRUE.

IF U WANNA SAY IT, SAY IT IN FRONT OF ME.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE MUST THINK SO MUCH,
INFER SO MUCH? IT'S A WASTE OF BRAIN CELLS. :/

IM JUST RANTING ALL MY FRUSTRATIONS AWAY..DONT MIND ME.. haha
i dont understand why the same problems just keep resurfacing.
we're like two sides of a coin. so close yet so far.
hohoho.im cheem(:

holiday's gonna be productive! I HOPE!:P
so far, it's not.haha.
my fb and blogger's back to normal(: yay!

frustrated as hell. X3

2009-09-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

oh man. im super lost. dont know what to do.
liwenn u tink u're right? abt her ________.
it's hell lah. :/

im out of place too.
it's just so different[you all & me.]
whenever im with u, i've no idea what y'all say.
im like this outsider.in your circle of two.
i tink i tink too much. hahhas..

ANW i study too little.
no motivation, no nothing..
what am i striving for...?
:(

crazy crazy day.
yet im not tired.:/
i dont rlly wanna talk abt it.. im sorting it out.:)
I LOVE THIS SONG: SARA EVANS - YOU.
May the angels protect you
'Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you
When it's time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You're never alone'

i hope you have this magical feeling~
you taught me the true meaning of inner beauty.
it appeals regardlessly.
although i dont know how 2 react with u,
but i admire you for that.

let's see my day..
- school's alright..i guess.
- i forgot 2 msg; sorry. but i didnt like it when u said: dont give tha excuse that im busy i dont like it.
what do u tink i am? im not someone who likes orders.
- the bintan thing was quite cool, just tt the teachers are weird. haha.
but i hope 2 be more assertive, now it seems quite sad. i want the kids 2 really be happy.
when you said im a follower, i reflected, it's true i guess, im always too lazy.:( bad girl.
-handover for vball seniors----awkward! but i liked the towel<3
-gym.was hell. haha i tink i shld eat more on wednesday mornings.. haha.but i feel so fit now:D
tomorrow will ache like shit.
-AND I FINISHED GP ESSAY:D *JUMPS AROUND WILDLY~ WHEE.

tht's all tt's happy abt today:/
but nvm it's gonna be tomorrow.
a brand new day! cant wait.
19 days til promos.:S

expectations always lead to disappointments.

2009-09-13T06:16:00.000-07:00

hello:D im not as emo as the title sounds:)

-i feel like going on twitter(:
but yet, i have no idea how.

-i've got 2 start doing my hwk.
but yet, ive been saying that since 5 hours ago.

-i would like to eat ben and jerry's cheesecake ice cream
but yet, im lazy to go out.

-i tink that it's such a waste for a hot guy to smoke.
but yet, i just saw one today.

-i dont dread school (which starts tmr, if u didnt realise)
but yet, i wished the holidays will never end. at least not so soon.:/

haha this is weirdly structured, but tt's cuz just noww i got loads to write here.
but now. i dont. (after reading my storybook:D)
hmm, im feeling exceptionally quirky.:P and i dont have a clue why.oh man.
hhahha. wonder what tomorrow brings.maybe it's happiness, or surprises, or anger..
and even exhaustion. and of course disappointments.
but all i know is no matter what it is, we have 2 go through it.:/
my only hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, is tt this all makes me grow as a person.
lord, help me take wtv that comes with the right state of mind,
and not let the experience bend and twist my spirit and stunt my growth. amen.

oh ya you know the 'ultimate' test of faith?
the stupid one that asks:
if the 2 most important people in your life drops into the sea, who will u save?
IT IS COMPLETELY, UTTERLY RUBBISH.
haha cuz firstly, if i had 2 choose, i'll save myself.
you know why? cuz i cant swim well enough! b4 i reach ANY of them i'll just drown 1st.
secondly, both of them would most probably know how 2 swim and survive.
the reason being.. i'm the one with the higher probability of dropping in the sea, and requiring salvation.

hah. food for thought.:)
argh. i wanna vomit. my *ahem is praising her *ahem, abt how brilliant and talented he is.
who the hell says that. *pukes.

haha oh well. shit. im not getting anything done:((

the biggest mistake in life is meeting you.

2009-09-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

hypocrite.#@$%!$^&@!!
haha i relieved all my anger alr.
i've been doing tuition hwk. HATE HATE HATE.
oh well.no choice. argh i've got this feeling i'll fail promos:(

how how how.

i'vee got loads 2 do.
wished time stops now.:/
i dont want 2 worry abt any shit.
nonono..
there's no time to do that.

change is an ugly purple monster,
since jealousy is green.
i dont like change. im a creature of habit.
did i change?
subconsciously or otherwise..?
i wonder,..

is simplicity always good? should i take it as in insult?
idk anything anymore.
wished it's all not complicated.

ARGH. i wanna sleep..Zzz,,
im being so philosophical:D
bet u are totally clueless. my post is cryptic.:DD
muahahah..
kinda looking forward 2 tmr. slack day in school, but still can see my friends:P
but at the same time strife and politics are not my forte.
im tired alr, im dumb like a sotong. cant even read faces.
bad judgement of character, everything.
u're making my head spin, being so fickle. help.

oh well i sound emo, but IM REALLY NOT!
im just super sleepy now. haha.
i've got 2 walk my dog and get ready for tuition:S
my brain cells are dying! one by one... shit.
got loads of stuff in my head, but it's all flooding out.
until i've no idea what 2 write.
when i write something, the other will rush out of my head alr.
oh man.

maybe later! goodbye for now~

yo! back again:D

2009-09-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

wasnt that a super long post(: hugs myself!
haha just wanted to say ANTM HERE I COME(:
BITCHES OF THE WORLD UNITE IN THAT 1 SHOW, & IT'S A 2-HR SPECIAL!omg(:

since it's been a long, lo-ong time and fb isnt working:/

2009-09-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

haha:D hello! it's been super uber long:D
but since it's sept hols, i better post:P
hmm, i'm the ultimate waste time person..ZZzz.. shit man.
IM SO GONNA FLUNK PROMOS!:((

tomorrow's gonna be more productive..hopefully!:D
going out study MAYBE!(cuz home's full of distractions)
and later steamboat!:P at 1st didnt really wanna go cuz im broke!
but nvm:) i convinced some people 2 go SO I HAVE TO GO:P
wait people murder me in my sleep!

haha oh ya!bff(: (you-know-who-you-are)
i read ur blog(: <3 you too:D
haha although we have our bad moments, when we're tgt,
WE ROCK THE WORLD:)
thanks for the best-friend-therapy:))
for helping me be pissed when i xin ruan:D
it's crazy luh, since we are both easily influenced ppl..
thus! we are like super similar!.. except that u're like my mature half(:
haha:D hearts u loads!!
we can see each other grow old and wrinkly, and laugh at our wrinkles:D
OH! AND I STILL WANT 2 BE UR CHILD'S GODMA! i promise i wont forget where i put him/her :P
haha miss you loads.. it's been super duper long:/ cya soon!(:
WE MUST TOTALLY PASS OUR PROMOS AND KEEP OUR 4H2s!X3

haha although i havent been doing much work, and my head spins from time to time,
and bad things happen (as usual), overall my hols are quite happy:)
loves loves loves sleeping. i feel kinda rested with all the afternoon naps(:
but i need more!:/ haha.
i wished time stops now, with no promos :(
but i've got this feeling that someone's having a horrible day, so i better not pray that time stops now.
will you be very sad?:D don't be(: cheer up! it's just a phase..
who knows maybe u are pms-ing?(: it's not exactly bad..:P
i hope you see this cuz i hope this cheers u up(:
you know there's people who care, so dont be so sad..must have that warm, fuzzy feeling!:D

I RECEIVED THIS FAN-TABULOUS EMAIL I WANNA SHARE(:
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?'

The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.'

Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'

The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else..... 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom..' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could..'

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

'Dear Mom,

I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You'. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.

Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own perso nal pen to write you this letter I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'where was He when I needed him?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you... To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore the cancer is all gone.. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

hope you realise how loved u are(:

hmm, oh ya i listened over the radio that the top 20% of the richest people have 39 billion in total:P
crazy rite! oh man, i wished im one of them:D
im utterly broke now, it sucks:((
haha but at least i have loads of things to begin with:*
and i happily parted with my last 5 bucks.:DD
it just occurred to me that some1 might be scamming my last 5 bucks, but i pray that it goes to whoever im told it goes to.. pretty pls with a cherry on top?:)

i was listening to the radio ytd:) i heard this great song!(:
it must be quite old, but who cares!(:

Whitney Houston - Where Do Broken Hearts Go lyrics
Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Won't they always love you
I look in your eyes
And I know that you still care, for me

I've been around enough to know
That dreams don't turn to gold
And that there is no easy way
No you just can't run away...
And what we have is so much more
Than we ever had before
And no matter how I try
You're always on my mind

haha im happy happy(: hope u are too!(:
got 2 go walk my dog alr..(: toodles!:D haha.

oh shit i just realised i've got loads of pictures to upload but they are all rotting in my fone!:D
oh and i tink i ignited the love of camwhoring within me!:P damn.
HAHA AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE NOBODY DANCE~ >.<

oh man.. six weeks:(

2009-08-31T06:07:00.000-07:00

my class is scary man:((
it sucks not feeling well. i've got loads to do.
PROCRASTINATION loves me too much:/
if only ____________________________.
i'll love yoou for life.<3

i need to get through everything.rawr.
haha. someone scares me:(
how. i dun know whether u'll c this, but im real scared.
oh man. have u heard of a silly girl who's scared of her fren?;/
well you've heard it now.

i feel like being a recluse,
but i'll never pull it off:/
if only i could.:)

HAHA:D can u imagine tiffany tan a recluse.
ohoh.. talk abt other stuff!! CENSORED FROM HERE ON DOWN!-------------PG:P
my mom showed me a few vids on some scary woman.
like the woman was damn pissed with this guy and then she used her slipper 2 hit the guy's face.
den that stupid guy had 2 stand there and let her! hit many many times somemore!
shit man. PLUS! SHE USED THE SLIPPER 2 HIT HIS BALLS!!
OH THEN SHE LIKE GRABBED HIS BALLS AND SQUEEZED.OMFG.

WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE THERE IN THIS WORLD MAN..
it's damn gross lah.
all you guys out there be thankful!~
XP. haha.. she's a B-I-T-C-H man.

why in the world do i use 'man' so much?! haha!
that's random..hmmm..

let's see. sighs.. recently i dont know how 2 cope.
shit lah loads of pressure.. :/
i've realised tt im easily influenced by others.
i wished i didnt. i want strong mental strength.
oh man. i want 2 be a loner.

there's many 'i want's.
but not enough 'i am's.
hurhurhur. tiffany, add oil!=D

BOF(:

2009-08-22T18:00:00.001-07:00

Stand by me nal parabwajo
Ajik sarangeul morujiman
Stand by me nal jikyobwajwo
Ajil sarange sotul-jiman
Noreul bulsurok kibuni chohwajyo
Nado mollae noraereul bullo
Han songi jangmireul sago shipojin
Iron nae moseub shingi hande
Nae ma-eumi noyege dah-neundeuthae
I sesangi areumdawo
Iron solle-i-meul nodo neuggindamyon
Budi chogumman kidaryojwo

Together make it love
Forever make it your smile
Noye hwanhan miso gadukhi
Together make it loveStand by me nal parabwajo
Ajik sarangeul morujiman
Stand by me nal jikyobwajwo
Ajil sarange sotul-jiman
Noreul bulsurok kibuni chohwajyo
Nado mollae noraereul bullo
Han songi jangmireul sago shipojin
Iron nae moseub shingi hande
Nae ma-eumi noyege dah-neundeuthae
I sesangi areumdawo
Iron solle-i-meul nodo neuggindamyon
Budi chogumman kidaryojwo

Together make it love
Forever make it your smile
Noye hwanhan miso gadukhi
Together make it love
Stand by me nal parabwajo
Ajik sarangeul morujiman
Stand by me nal jikyobwajwo
Ajil sarange sotul-jiman
Noreul bulsurok kibuni chohwajyo
Nado mollae noraereul bullo
Han songi jangmireul sago shipojin
Iron nae moseub shingi hande
Nae ma-eumi noyege dah-neundeuthae
I sesangi areumdawo
Iron solle-i-meul nodo neuggindamyon
Budi chogumman kidaryojwo

Together make it love
Forever make it your smile
Noye hwanhan miso gadukhi
Together make it love

OMFG(:

2009-07-27T05:10:00.000-07:00

MY BLOG THING CAN FINALLY WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(:
haha maybe it's still a bit screwed up but still(:

urgh. im super unlucky recently:((((
nothing's going right. NOTHING!

zzzZZ.. im glad i've got friends and all.
if not i dun know exactly how 2 survive.

actually i tink that alot of things are alright.
but im just emo-ing.. cant keep my spirits up:/
perhaps it's a premonition?
NO NO.. *TOUCH WOOD..
i dun wan! i dun wan!ZZzzz..
maybe im just tired..
and since tired = angsty, oh well..

"Some trust in chariots, some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."
-Psalms 20:7
it never ceases to amaze me,
how He manages to know exactly when and how i need Him.
the joy and peace i feel is incomparable.
really, perhaps others have many doubts,
doubts which i cant answer or even, have never thought 2 question.
but i choose to just trust in His providence.
how true, religion is the food for the soul.
maybe people think that it is cuz u're weak THEREFORE you need religion.
what utter rubbish. but they are untitled to their own opinions,
like i am 2 mine:) ILY GOD(:
maybe it seems sometimes that i trust blindly,
but it's not the product that matters rite? it's the process.
somewhere in my heart i know that He is the One.
so why do i need to question anything?

i dont like it when you think too much.
when u care only abt wat u get out of anything.
in this 1 aspect u're like my dad.
i detest it.
why not look at the bright side, even if it's occasionally?

everything is bogging me down, everything's taking its toll on me.
im exhausted, i can feel my knees buckle under the pressure.
please, help me. really really need you.

okay i need 2 stop being emo.
although it's a cool sport, it's not what i want.
what happened 2 the optimistic girl?
i need 2 find her soon, within the folds of my shadow.

OMFG (my latest cool phrase), i didnt realise how relaxing it feels,
to rant on this blog. even if it's boring and no one bothers to read.
maybe when it all spills out it's like sth is lifted off my chest.

let's get on to funner stuff(:
should i go gym tmr?(:
hmm..
OMFG(: I FEEL MUCH HAPPIER(:

omg. damn unlucky!

2009-07-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

hAHA. GOT WORDS ALR, KHAI-KHAI(:
cuz my blogger thingy doesnt work the other time(: haha
oh well. i feel comforted!(: someone's reading this nonsense(:
I SHOULD'VE GONE WITH YOU BOTH 2 see torres:(

Bicarbonate Ostylezene Benzoate!(:

2009-05-31T20:38:00.000-07:00

haha. i watched monsters vs aliens on sat 11 sth.
i <3 B.O.B.!! the blue gooey thingy! hahaa..
oh and i felt like a lightbulb! my mom and my dad and my sis and her bf!
i was like stuck in the middle!:/ me and my popcorn!
haha..

oops!

2009-05-31T20:24:00.000-07:00

haha haven been blogging!
(i noe i'm lazy:/) haha! oh well..
been busy like shit.
stressed u with jc life:( got like loads to do..
and trng's are like shit! along with yfc and all..
it's enough to die..zzZZ..
haha.
have u ever felt that there are tons of things to do?
and nt enough time!! gosh i want my hp back!!>.<
i'm still holding out hope that somewhere some kindsoul would return my fone back to me:/
*prays fervently*

oh well! it's the 1st day of holiday!!((:
happy happy!i just bahed my damn smelly dog..
and now she smells super nice..
:P thanks to me. haha!
hmm.. it's a hassle not 2 hv a fone:(
everybody keeps saying: i texted u..
but i dun hv my fone how wld i noe-.-"

anw my june hols are packed to the max!(hey it rhymes!)
and i dun wanna waste a sec..but yet here i am wasting my life away!
thanks to SOME people!sigh..
i dun feel like writing..hehehe..just felt bad abt not writing..
sorry! haha..i always forget what i wna type..>.<

anw, this song is called pictures of you by the last goodnight.

This is the clock upon the wall

This is the story of us all

This is the first sound of a newborn child,

Before he starts to crawl

This is the war that's never won

This is a soldier and his gun

This is the mother waiting by the phone,

Praying for her son

[Chorus]

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung upon your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all

Blocked by the governmental wall

We are the scientists inside the lab,

Just waiting for the call

This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside

I'm high up and dry

[Chorus]

Confess to me, every secret moment

Every stolen promise you believed

Confess to me, all that lies between us

All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring

We are the bells that never sing

There is a title we can't win no matter

How hard we might swing

[Chorus]

[Chorus Repeat]

life's short.live and let live.

2009-04-05T02:29:00.000-07:00

OMG! i really require substenance. ><
dying from starvation~

i ate squid ink pasta~ lalala..ytd!
tasted like olive oil mee goreng! haha
den ur teeth would be all dirty.and black.
haha.

oh man i'm supposed to be doing gp essay,
from one in the afternoon. but i've yet 2 touch it!
die lah!><

i hope and pray fervently that tmr dun hv napfa.i'll just die!
zzZZ.. i went church today(:
i'm overwhelmed by the depth of his love.<3>

oh damn i need 2 go do essay now.
tiffany pay attention!-.-"

there's always a chance something will go wrong.

2009-04-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

"Here's the litmus test - if it will upset the other party when they find out, I think it's considered cheating. So if you have to hide it, you shouldn't do it."

this is damn cool lah!:D
found it on xiaxue's blog.
it's damn true lah..

anw! i just updated my iphone,.
though it doesn't have any songs yet.
there's like tons of games(:
i won't be bored during nj match.!! if it's boring..

YAY! gonna meet my twin and all:D
ytd was the 3rd month!HAHA but my carefully prepared present
just got smashed like that!!-.-" my hard work~
aiya..but anw..
i didnt rlly feel all that..
i wished you would've shown some love.
more care..more of everything..
sometimes i feel it, other times i dont.
i dont know wat to feel anymore..
anw!
about today:D
watched confessions of a shopaholic!!
AWESOME!!:D i *heart* luke brandon!!
the woman damn bimbo lah..the 1st part is the worst!
like OMG OMG OMG!!
haha.
today i missed my bus stop den ended up having to take a cab.
zzZZ..oh weell..

oh did i mention? i love my iphone!
aah~
gonna sleep alrdy.
NITES(:
P.S. got swim pe today. but i cnt attend :P

OH>MY>GOSH!!>>>

2009-03-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

HAHA. I got an iphone!!!
i'm supp to be sleeping but i'm watching ANTM(:
haha i'm super high now!!:D
YES!

LJ POSTS!:D

2009-03-28T22:48:00.000-07:00

zzzzZZZ
Nov. 6th, 2008 at 10:57 PM

was readin my old blog.
i think i write better here..sad..
haha.i'm emo..
oh ya e link doen't work. i try again..
this is it.
http://that-little-green-pig.blogspot.com/

gone.whee~
Oct. 30th, 2008 at 7:15 PM

AIYA!!GIVE UP LE!!>.<
haha:D im so sor-iee!!
i give up my livejournal account alrdy:D
add my other one: http://that-little-green-pig.blogspot.com/
heheh.i totally cnt figure out livejournal lah..
zzzZZZ..-_-"
hehheh..
add my other one.(...but maybe wont be blogging for sometime..)
this is officially pronounced dead:D
too-dles! haha.

slipping into a state of mind which is neither here nor there.
Jul. 28th, 2008 at 8:17 PM

'whee.
sucks lah.i tink i'm gonna slip into depression!haha.
nah!! waste of my time.
but seriously, o levels is bad for health. damn it.

oh well let's c.
my dad is like giving me sO-o much stress..
it's like dont he noe dat i'm working my butt off alrdy?hmm.
he totally 4gt wat's it like 2 be studyin:/
oh well. i shall not dwell on this.

but i feel really bad on a certain time of this day.
my amaths gt only 15 >.< what the hell is wrong w/ me?
i tot i could do it but i gt confused instead.
i wished i had a brain bigger than a pea.
how depressing.

oh and the worst part of it is tt:
i dragged the rest into trouble too.
i hate myself for tt.
for like an hr. thanks for cheering me up guys!(:

oh wells..i'm supposed 2 work hard.
but cnt seem to bring myself to do it>.<
i really wn my 6 pts!!!ARRGGH!!~
LORD, HELP ME! pulls my hair in distress..

i tink by the time it's Os i'm bald! haha.
oh well.i must work hard! seriously.
i have nt much time left.
and i dun tink i cn go into any gd jc w/ my grades.
on with e happy stuff.

today we were doing palmistry!! haa..
my character not veh gd apparently :(
eeeEE..i must change! learn to be like grace and xinyi! haaha(:
but i'm normal..so nt tt bad...
i'm gonna get like a really handsome husband!! yay!!
and wat else ah..i wont win lottery>.<
hahaa.den i dun nid waste $$ anws:D
i'm 'smart' accordin to that too. so it's kinda wrong. bleahx XP

that's abt it..haha.-----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this part's specially for my twin!(:
heys. cheer up lahs..u're the best-est alrdy:D
dun wry abt my family for me(: i'm fine!haha.
i'm super UBER happy-go-lucky rite? no worries!(:
you noe me too well lah! i tot u didnt noe who posted-_-"
thanks lah! i was like cheered up more if there's such a thing!(:
we'll wtch hellboy tgt SOON! haha..
sry if my schedule always so tight.i'm a bz woman! haah.no lahs.jk
>.< u're the bestest okays!! just the way you are.
dun wry abt what ppl say lahs.
(in ah lian talk:)
I LURBBS EUU WORXZXZ!! haah!:D

lol you are the BEST-EST TWIN EVA!
we're kinda the same (contrary to what u said!haha)
but different in others! if not it'll be so boring..rite?((:
Mood: okay

hoping to be sth we are not...
Jul. 20th, 2008 at 9:59 PM

is it truly worth it?
hais....life is always nt as expected.
that's wat makes it interesting but nonetheless..still sad.
according to murphy's law: what can go wrong will go wrong.
ain't it very true?
like let's see our school.
i was passing by methodist girls'..
our school pales in comparison.
seriously..what happened?
lol wat else? many many more..
but as long as we learn to live w/ it nth could be worse rite?
i often wished it wasn't as it's supposed to be..but..oh wells.
okay...stop emo-ing liao(:

RAICAIL HARMONY DAY TMR..
lol i was kinda black-mailed..oh well
it'll be quite fun
i'm gonna wear a cheongsam..so cheena.
bet i look funny!?:D
hahas.
oh! and i officially confirm that:
i'm A FRIGGIN' GOLDFISH.blurb blurb.
lol! cuz my attention span is seriously short(:
oh well.i'm me rite?HAHA.

oh.i gathered tt no matter wat ppl say.
friends are awesome ppl.
not all are back-stabbers. nor hypocrites.
sometimes i dont wish to hv a friend.a friend whom makes me confused.
cnt everything be back as it used to be?...simple(:
but i'll neva trade this friend of mine. no matter what.
after all it's still my friend:D
I LOVE YOU! (muacks.)

haha.i tink things are getting better(: getting better everyday.
ahh! i wan steak(: oh wells.i'm a poor person.
hope it gets better.
i'm really quite annoyed w/ my dad:/
i'm workin as hard as it is nw.and here he is telling me if i wan to get into a jc i must study hard.
it's nt fair rite?
i mean i'm workin my butt off alrdy.:(
even though i slack occasionally.
i gt 10 points for mid yrs.but yet i dun get a"hey.good work!"
but instead tt my chem sucks.i mean come on.
u dun noe hw hard it is for me alrdy.and here u are tellin me tt i've gotta work harder?
it's seriously nt fair.my sis gt like 18 nett.and u said great.
u gt e same marks i did.
what the hell.

sometimes i tink tt he hurts ppl unwittingly.
my sis and i stand a bigger chance being tgt if he stops
actually tryin 2 force us tgt.i realised sometimes he says stuff to each of us tt makes us think he biased to e other one
but yet.he's not?
if only people dun be so condescending.

HOWEVER! i tink my life's still fine.(:
thanks for the sympathy.:D i appreciate it.
but. i tink i've gt great friends and people ard me.
(like mr lee..cnt tell him tt! shssh..)
hhaha.like a naggy grandfather-nice...haha.
thanks guys!(: LOVES all of u ppl.
i tink every1 has their problems.
it's only a matter of how big or how small( and tt's relative)
or whether it can be hidden frm e surface
maybe somebody's life might seem great.
but deep down is it really all that?
everybody's equal.one and all.
:D just enjoy everything we hv(:

ahh.my maid wan dl her themes i'd better let her use.
i nid wake up EXTRA early too.
(whose fault huh huh huh? lol! jk((:)
Mood: loved
Leave a comment Add to MemoriesTell a FriendLink was here.and gone.too-dles!
occassional bouts of unhappiness.~
Jul. 12th, 2008 at 10:48 PM

my head is hurting like crazy since ytd..
dang.why like tt ne??pain..arrgh.
anw tis is a short post just to rant.

hai.i was like kinda upset ytd lah.
i tink blogs make me sad..haha.
no lah.just tt sometimes.u unintentionally hurt ppl
...wen u blog..
u're saying ur feelings out but will it turn awkward for others?
like do ppl consider tt?
i tink it's like to hard to consider
seriously like isn't it an avenue for rant-ing
but why den do we hv to consider others? weird huh.but it's liddat..
if not might as well nt write a blog rite? keep a diary.
anw tt's nt my pt :/
lol i seriously dno wat i'm ranting..
but i started tis blog to..eh..y ar..
oh ya! cuz i read 2 blogs..like kinda struck me tt things are not as dey seem sometimes.
but i'll get over it.i always do(:
cuz if others cn do it so cn i.

if only i cared abit less. and saw abit less.
if only i talked abit less.and listened abit more.
all the if onlys...
but e book i'm reading is really gd.it really helps one to understand.((:
dogs are awesome people.(NOTE: they're "people" too.)

anwtoday was like kinda sian..
was like too sick 2 go school..but i went 4 tuition(: ppl dere were great
afterwards i was supposed to study but fell aslp.
den i was like damn nice!haha.jkjk

i did e ce project on my own.
if nt it'll neva get done lah.lol
some ppl look veh responsible but in reality dey're nt..
but it's okay lah.i tink tt's part of their character.
hmm..everybody will sure to hv their bad pts.
be it they criticise too much.talk too much.
compared too much.slacked too much. 4gt too much.
or even listened too much.
i learnt tt to have a friend is to turn a blind eye on their weaknesses.
accept who they are.help them find a solution.support them thru-out.
criticising them is certainly nt what a friend shld do..i mean come on.
if e fren makes u feel inferior she might as well be ur enemy.
lol...but true friends are hard to find..dey are like treasures.gemstones.
i've always admired those who hv a bff.nt those who flaunt it.
but those who genuinely hv 1..it's like dey belong.
i hope i get dere to.one person who fully fully understands.
whom is the first 1 i turn to whenever..actually all the time.
isn't tt just great?
i missed out on ALOT of opportunities and i really want to grasp the nxt one.
i really hope tt i cared a bit less and learnt to love a bit more.
not to be jealous but learnt to accept ppl's prettiness.
afterall evrybody is pretty no matter what.it's just a matter of perspective.
life's full of varieties.so tt we are able to slowly learn e mysteries of life bit by bit.
tt way we wont be bored.at all.(: great huh? how god thinks and provides.
we shld nt try to please ppl but be who we are.after all tt will please e impt ppl in ur life.
you.god.and the ppl who love u.

i watched two shows 2day.
-what happens in vegas
-lars and e real girl(this is kinda creepy)
den i went dwn accompany my dog and my maid..lol
my dog is e funniest dog ever(: love her loads lah!!
den we saw a whole big grp of ah bengs and ah lians.
block my entrance to e playgrd.dang.
scary ppl lah dey.eek!
oh and somebody got moodswings.big meanie:/
ppl who noe me will noe who i'm tokin abt..

wa my head still hurts.i better go slp soon..
sometimes life's unpleasant..
but overall it's worthwhile.yupps!:D
a big smile to brighten my day for myself.

Mood: distressed
Leave a comment Add to MemoriesTell a FriendLink was here.and gone.too-dles!
enjoy the simple things.cherish them.
Jul. 11th, 2008 at 9:06 PM

that's from a book called:
10 lessons u cn learn frm a dog
it's like freakin AWESOME!

ANW,
i'm bloggin instead of studying! hahas.
wen i on my com my dog was like scratching me..
so cute lah!!>< but kinda annoying.i flicked her away!
so mean rite! i'm so sry!* does kissing noises.mu-acks!lol
nw she's going for her walk!at least must accept my apology mah-_-"
lol!
OH SHIT! I 4GT! I NID TO DO TUITION HWK!
aiya..nm.((: i'll get 2 it!
i brought my com out to play..
just nw i was watching e new jap show on channel u..
VIKING!((: damn cool!!!
lol i like e judo guy..but he lost:(
the alien-lookin octopus guy was like crazy!hahas.
lol i start frm ytd..school was school lor..
lol den we went matths remedial..dden i went library!
i think i hv an attention span of a freakin flea!
haha..i get distracted easily!
thanks 2 khairiah i'm fully aware of tt fact!:/
lol anw den i SUPPOSED to study geog.haha.SUPPOSED TO.
den me and LIU XINYI!(not low-profile anymore) went to invest rehearsal..
which is a waste of time!
anw e funny thing is we went kolam ayer cc!lol
we so happy walk dere..den nobody we also just cont walk! haha.lol
den we c nobody den think so long lah! den oh ya hor!
maybe in e hall!! haha...den since we go late...as usual.
lol den we EVEN L8R! hahas.two sotongs walkin ard!!
lol rehearsal was like freakin long..haha.
wa..thng gin is so funny keep laughin..2day also..
today's leaders' invest!!
haha(:
i was like nervous for like no reason whatsoever!!
haha..i wna c e rest and e videos lah!!! anw..
while we were waiting..annette told me a show!! i wan watch!!
lan se cai hong! hahas.
den let's c..hmm..we all were like crapping.
last part is e sonng den gt e 2nd verse we all dunno! haha!!
den so quiet den go back 2 e chorus den sing so loudly. den we were BOPPING!
haha.oh well..den sway 2 hard i tink...gin fell!!!haha.
so mean heheh. anw we pull her up so nt tt bad..
but it's freakin smelly and hot lah!!>< sweat like mad..lol
i almost 4gt my book w/ the canteen auntie!! haha.

anw..end den gt physics.lol as usualll..hrmph.haha.
den me vanessa and liwenn went 2 kfc.
pls trust me! TWISTER NOT NICE!!
lol and i had cold fries and cold twister and cold coleslaw!haha.
let's c..den i went home and promptly FELL ASLP!
(i tink my life is full of routines.all as usual.)
lol den my fren called.like many times.
den i dreamt my fone off but still cn ring den ms lisa scold me.DEN i found a twin fone!
wth?! i crazy le..anw i dun like ppl disturb me..so i gt up and scolded the person!!haha.
HELLO! WAT YOU WANT LA?! I SLPING!
horrible rite? i'm sry!!><
anw so...be forewarned! dun say i neva say ah.
NEVER EVER WAKE ME UP IF NT IMPT THING! haha.
I'LL BE LIKE FREAKING GRUMPY:/ hehheh,.
only my dad and my maid cn do tt but i still will ABIT UPSET..LOL!
i nid my slp mah!..lol
i tink i read thru...i'm no genius..

(crosses my heart and wish upon a shooting star:D)

i wish lah! oh well.
i wish for steak! haha.(:

32 days.sucks lah.
oh and i went to c facebook ppl. lol yucks.
i saw...eek!..i dun wn rmb! i'm a visual person.dang.
BYES!((:
Mood: ditzy

nth lor.HAHAS:D
Jul. 10th, 2008 at 10:04 PM

hhahas.i'm supposed to be studying geog nw..oh well.
nm((: i promised xinyi i blog!
hahas. so XINYI!!U NT LOW PROFILE ANYMORE!! hahas..
leaders' invest rehearsal was a flop! haha.one run thru = 2hrs lah!
hah. at least we left early rite? haa
i discovered sth:
i tink sweat evaporated will become lower density!
cuz...wen u standing in a crowd of ppl...dey sweatin den the smell so strong at ur nose..
meaning!: it rises!hhaha..
or maybe it's just hot air rises..:/ hmm...
hahas.oh well i endin!
i nid fin studying by 11..
den i nid my beauty slp! hahas!..
too ugly le! must slp more!
33days to prelims.i'm so screwed.
this info is happily supplied by khairiah. dang.

hahas.super short post!((:
Mood: determined

as u dare to dream so shall you become.
Jul. 6th, 2008 at 9:10 PM

i was bored and so i proceeded to read XIAXUE'S and DAWN YANG'S blog.
i tink dey're rather childish dont u tink?
oh well none of my business...but dey insulttin each other like wth?
just get on with it((: hahas.
like ms ng always says:
there's no permanent friends ,
nor permanent enemies.
ONLY permanent interest.

isn't tt like very much true?
sad rite?but what 2 do?
the world's like that.

wa. i tink i'm gg to write an emo post!haha!
but finally figured out sth today lah.
why is it so difficult to find a bestest friend?some ppl make it look so easy..
maybe u hv to pick the right person? den give urself whole-heartedly?
but how do u noe who's the right person? or even if she fits u.
u might consider her as a best friend.but does she feel the same towards u?
she might exchange u for someone else soon....?

hmm...this is just a bite-size thought i had.
hahas! i tink all my thoughts are bite-size..if nt i cnt fit into my brain.:/
i was pondering over this for like a few days alrdy sub-consciously.
it certainly is distressin..nt to say depressing(hey! i rhyme)
anw.i read this book.den it tells me that:
Beware of allowing a tactless word, a rebuttal, a rejection to obliterate the whole sky
interesting rite?((:

benjamin franklin once said: energy and persistence conquer all things.
i'm uber philosophical!haha.
anw..i tink tt's like damn wise rite?
after all dey lived their life alrdy so dey shld noe.
((: i believe i'll definitely get my perfect best friend!:D wish me luck lah!

haha.nw i'll be more like myself alrdy!
thanks, mr.lee!!(i noe u won't read this but still..)
for the presents!OMG!it's like alot lah.((:
thanks!:D i like them a lot!

2day i realised i hv to go tuition at like 1030am! at like 1 sth 2 in the morning!!
wa den so tired!
nm! den i woke up at like 9 specially to wake my parents up so dey cn send me..
den! my dad went out!!ahh!!lol
den my mom gg out so i asked her wait for me...heheh.. sry mom-s!
i was like kinda slow( even IF i'm rushing) den she had to wait..
aiyo.den the funniest thing happened!
we walked by my ah ma's hse tt way! den saw my ah ma.
den imagine an old lady so kpo, peering into a van den she think she's sbutle..
but she's actually very VERY obvious.plus the old lady is very petite!haha!
funny rite? but nt the funniest lah.
(actually the van inside gt actor and actress that's y.)
nm! den we said nm let her recognise us...
den we walk to e traffic light and stand diagonally behind her! she NEVA REALISE!haha
den we cross road stand right beside her..she STILL neva realise!
lol until we call her den she SO SHOCKED! :D cute lahs!
her excuse: cuz she was tinking DEEPLY whether my ah gong changed shirt 2 day!
lol wat a funny reason!(:
den i went 2 tuition..i was l8 yet again!
but still...better than wuileng! haha...she tot it's at 1230!!
wa den quite paiseh. i dunno anybody...lol but aiya mr lee's tuition only ma..haha
den i just do maths lah. den i was like super hungry!
but i beat my record lah! i 12 den hungry lor! haha.
let's c..my maid cooked so i brought to mr lee's clas..
he bought loads of goodies for me! as usual!
((: there are some priviledges being his favourite PIMPLE afterall.
I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!>.<
ANW, den jie wen is on a diet.lol
no worries lah! mr lee is fatter!haha.
den mr lee..he repeated tt jie wen is hving a diet and tt he needs to eat. to everybody who came.
haha. so unlucky lah..he has my sympathies.tsk tsk.
tuition was like normal.with mr lee insultin me and i insult him back.
i tink e environment veh relaxed there..tt's gd rite?
hope he dun close dwn the jc classes la.i still wna go!>,<
lol den i came home and just slept.
haha. i so DO NOT only eat and slp lah!

oh well. i tink i'm long-winded.
DANG.u were right yet again.
hrmph. lol nm lah..wat to do?u're my twin.

haha. i tink i go slack den slp alrdy..
bye everybody!(: u cn write me comments!
Mood: pensive

love the sinner. hate the sins.
Jul. 5th, 2008 at 10:41 PM

i tink the xx-small writing is nt tt small after all.
hmm...wa i'm so UBER-PROUD of myself:D
my blog has YET to be dead((: YES! (jumps around in circles)
woots! 3 cheers 4 me(((: HAHA!

i'll stop being lame alrdy.
haha!ADITI! U CNT SAY MY BLOG IS HIGHLY AMUSIN ANYMORE! :p
i tink i'm on a sugar rush? hmm...
nah dun tink so...if not the swts are laggin!tsk tsk
eat so long den abit only..terrible.
i tink i'm gonna hv diabetes!yupps yupps!
i eat like ten million a day!(or mayb lesser lah:/)but sill loads!
but who cares? eat 1st l8r gt diabetes den stop lor!
live life to e fullest rite?CARPE DIEM(:
but it's so sad..imagine life living w/o eatin chocolates, swts.
i'll die man.(: okay e smiley is nt in place.
but that reminds me! i was wtching DOGTOWN a documentary.
(wa! i wtch sth educational leh!)
anw den dey say treats are nt healthy for dogs.
den my dad said den y we let dem eat?
OMG! den i said sth really smart...actually nt really lah..
i said: it's like us eatin chocolates and swts rite? also nt healthy ma!
YAY!i grew smarter...i tink

oh wells.lets c..
i'll write the survival skills thingy and me being a terrible mother.
wait i forget!hahas.
i'm terrible cuz:
1. i cnt rmb anything for nuts!wait i 4gt the food or 4gt my baby den hw? die lah!
2.i hv no sense of direction whatsoever. i sure gt lost!
3.i eat too much.. i'll starve cuz i dun get enough food?
and i eat all e unhealthy stuff! haha.
somemore...there's like loads more lah..
ohwells.conclusion:i cnt survive and cnt be a mom.
oh! and i scared pain:/

ohwells.i beta end soon...?
i using my sis's comp.wait she scold me.XP

lets's see..i cnt rmb whether i write wat i did ytd..so i write again?
i went school de ppl dress so funky!((:
i dunno hw upload e pictures lah! so sad gt damn lot of pics!
(TAN SZE ERN! teach me hw to use???pls...pretty pls?...pretty pls w/ a cherry on top and chocolate sprinkles...and and and..i 4gt.oops!)
den i met my twin den we go study!haha
i tink i'm a horrible distraction.we tgt read optical illusions book!
lol but so nice wanted to treat me to chicken wings.
nah!i nt tt cheapskate!haha!dno whether u'll read tis but! i want my dog!>,<
anw 2day i woke up and realised i left my maid playin w/ my comp.
den I FORGOT TO TEACH HER HOW TO OFF IT!
but at least my headache's over...
i supp 2 do wk in e morning but...AS USUAL i slacked!terrible..tsk tsk.
den my dad picked me up 2 go dere if nt i'll be l8!haha..ALSO AS USUAL!
eh...den we had to do ppr...so sian but at least e ppl dere were nice.
mrs liew leave e class den we talked...she came back den we stopped.so automatic de((:
haha! den rested at hm abit den was persuaded 2 go my mom's friend's hse..
persuadin factor: there's food after all!:D yum. but so-so lahs.
anw den my mom joined her friends lay mahjong den me and my dad slacked on the couch wtchin scv!
that's gd too rite! anw the funniest thing was...
we analysed every single thing dere...like my mom's colleague's gf..whether she is china girl..
den hw many ppl live in my mom's friend hse..den whether dey gt clique also anot ah..
i tink we damn bored lah...until my dad wna slp haha.den we came hm early.
oh! and i just realised mon's youth day!
hmm...let's c...i tink i'm gg out..but nm lahs..wont die de rite?
hmm...yupps!(: sure gt place go.
haha.i'm crappin away.i wanted to be like philosophical but! i forgot what i wanted say le...
just nw wanted say alot lah!i 4gt...hmm..i tink by the time i'm thrity i'll 4gt everything!:/
oh wells my sis rushin me le..
so byebye!(:
oh and i put e comments open to anonymous also le...liwenn...tt mean u cn type..i tink only this and the 2nd one cn i 4gt...heheh.
Mood: contemplative

happy express youself day!
Jul. 4th, 2008 at 9:54 PM

HAPPY EXPRESS YOURSELF DAY!~
i'm in a semi-conscious mode..
i've got a bloody BAD headache!SHIT!
so this is going 2 be a really short post.

i tml den write lahs..
i tink i make a very bad mother!dang.lol
and today everybody dree up so PREE-TY-ILY!
awesome lah.e gothic ppl are scary though.>.< shivers.
oh well.EXPRESS yourself mah.
and mrs koh is kinda evil!
made us do test!!-_-"
and i neva study so...i crap my way thru!hehheh...hope i pass!
(cross my fingers)oops! knotted!

i'm being lame
anw.today went out with my twin.
had like loads of fun((: thanks!
i tot it'll be like awkward..but neva...
i hope he feels that way too.
i dun wna spoil our FRIEND-ship.
NOTE!: NOT STEAD. hahas
just tryin 2 get 2 the point.
oh!
lesson of the day!: NEVER EVER put salt on ur ulcer!
it's freakin pain! like f**k!(i censored it lah.my blog is rated PG)
but apparently it's supposed to hlp>< we shall see!
i tink i'm crappy wen i'm sick.
man.

okays.i'm off 2 bed...zzZZZZ
Mood: crappy

`loves.loves.loves.
Jul. 3rd, 2008 at 10:26 PM

today's 3rd july= liwenn's bday...hmm...
lol HAPPY BIRTHDAY friend((:

tis post is gonna be like freakin short.
tmr's express yourself day!rawr.
i dun wna choose!! i wna wear school u...>.arrgh.lol kinda fun lah.abit?
oh well...i saw an interestin post!hahas.
i tink some ppl are hypocrites?
actually..nt tt serious lah...
suddenly sound so harsh..tsk tsk. lol
just tt say say some stuff den do others?
why?? fun meh?-.- weird lahs.

school was boring!! as usual of course.
oh wells.oh ya! ms ng tot i'm a c5 student alrdy!!
OMG!! qian!! ur fault..lol nvm((:
i'll impress her! haha.tink she'll figure out by nxt remedial?...which i'm nt planning 2 go!lol
i went w/ liwenn to her hse..
i love her hse lah!!so organised!!
unlike mine...i tink mine is chee-na!!
oh and den we wasted our afternoon away paintin nails...what bimbos!
haha..oh and having fun blog hopping and sayin ppl..hahas.like G.Y.L. and X.X.
lol!

i'm damn tired so i dun tink i studyin geog...lol
AS USUAL rite?hehheh.
i seriously nid 2 stop procrastinating><
or i'll neva get anything done..
oh abt ytd let's c...
i was like damn lazy 2 blog! lol
um...i went tuition but b4 tt i slept!
for ONCE in my life i'm early!!*claps claps.
AWESOME rite??? i so pleased w/ myself!
...but tt's all i cn rmb abt ytd:( lol

eh...i just realised my post became long!
oh well. anw i realised everybody goes thru phases in their lives...
hmmm..eh..
like pink phase.letting ur long 'fringe' down which is technically nt a fringe.
skinny jeans phase.sayin i'm pleased w/ myself phase.
wear make-up phase..etc etc.
damn lot lah..so u tink we hv like many diff aspects of ourselves?
OMG! meanin being parents is hard! oops.
i dun tink i wna be 1...heheh...too much wk...i too lz..
sure 4gt e baby den leave somewhr den ppl will hate me hahas.

oh and b4 i go i just wanted 2 write a note to self..tmr i type abt it.:SURVIVAL SKILLS!((:
or the lack of it..heheh..
ta-ta! nah i'm be more bimbotic!
TOO-DLES!~ lol ii lurbzxx euusxxx..xxxXXXXxxxx..
zzzzzZZZ.
Mood: bitchy

`RE-winding. to let go is first to reflect.
Jul. 1st, 2008 at 9:36 PM

my first ever EVER post.bet it'll turn stale after like a wk.
ohwells. at least i started....
w/ some encouragement of course!
>.< i'm damn lazy..today i went school and den go out to celebrate birthday.
watched WANTED... it's like e 1st time i wtch NC-16 movie lah!!
i tink i'm damn guai...wait until after my bday den go.hahs!
anw i was like...so FREAKING SHOCKED.hahaas.
it's like bloody but I LIKE IT!
lol! i tink i'm sadistic..lol the plot interestin mah..hrmph.
it's abt... oh wait.
[NOTE: SPOILER AHEAD!! read only if u want 2 noe]
.
.
.
the guy Wesley his life sucked den he gt like anxiety attacks.
his boss veh mean. his best friend fucking his gf. den he's a pussy..
<>
den gt this brotherhood called THE FRATERNITY. is a grp of weavers lah
den dey come find him (angelina jolie bring de-----she looks like an auntie)
den say his dad(who left) is like killed by a guy named CROSS.
den at 1st wesley dun care lah.den he suddenly gt a lot of money inherited frm his dad.
and he learnt he gt supernatural powers.
e CROSS guy seem 2 like want 2 kill him
den he train 2 be assassin den want 2 kill CROSS
oh!their bullets cn curve!! cool rite? oh well.
den he learnt tt is a loom tt gives e targets de..FATE apparently.
so he go after CROSS den killed him AFTER FINDING OUT TT CROSS IS HIS REAL DAD.
den angelina jolie tried kill him cuz their head say tt wesley is e nxt target.
but he survived so he learn everything...tt e dad is gd den e head is bad la...
so he devised a freakin smart plan to go kill e leader.
den everybody try stop him..e elite ppl crowd ard him..
den he tell dem wat happen den the head say actually all of dem e name come out le...
so he keep quiet den give name accordin 2 who pay him la.
den angelina jolie kill everybody 4 e guy including her
but he 2 l8 den cnt find e guy.
den l8r he use decoy and trick e person den kill him.

i realised i always write den!! lol.
i tink i neva do justice to e movie!!>.< it's really nice!!
except tt dey use damn lot of vulgarities!haha
so tt's the difference between PG and NC-16!!
basically that's it!((: nice lah!
oh shit i nid rmb hlp my maid find her songs.oops!
lol tmr i gt chem and ss tests which i neva study..
oh no!my shoulder hurts...again.

oh!2day school veh boring haha.
revision lesson is english den i went e one at avt.
so freakin warm lahs.den mr sng is like so ego cuz:
rena: mr sng...hot leh!!
mr sng: i noe i'm very hot. thanks!
like wth lah?! lol
den pe we played archery!i gt learn b4 but all 4gt le..heheh.
oh well e instructor was nice..den hui chun and vanessa so funny!
dey go ask her name and particulars!!
hahas.
den let's c...chinese me vanessa and inez was talkin thruout lah!
den miss wee keep scolding haha!
den once i say i neva tok, listening only!
lol den she say i accomplice.hahas..i 4gt wat i say after le..
but inez say i veh naughty...dun mean to lah! lol..
geography dey give out plate tectonics T.A.
hahas! i gt like 19/25..((:
but my LDQ veh lousy >.<
anw..oh ya..i must go check my facebk..i 4gt 2 go see ms kaur's account!
hahs. wa i write until damn tired.
i wanted 2 write sth else!
oh ya!! mrs lim was damn ego lah!!arrgh
only her classes cn get 1.0...wth lah?!
den she say until we like damn dishonest lah! we neva even do anything
AND.. she doesnt even noe us! crazy lah...

anww i write another time lahs..
i abit sick den gt headache..i tink i'm a pro at gettin injured too!
i gt a scratch which is as long as my hand la! i didnt noe den scratched abit.heheh.
oh well i'm SUPPOSED to slp early-.- lol
BYEBYE!(:

Mood: busy

abit hard to read..but i realised it's quite meaningful~
heheh.

`there is no such thing as coincidence.

2009-03-28T22:23:00.000-07:00

i'm supposed to be doing homework~

LALALA~ oh well. haha since when i bothered..

i just realised my life is not interesting whatsoever..zzZZ

therefore, my blog sucks.(partly cuz i'm lazy to upload pictures!)

wait til i got back my laptop! WAIT AND SEE ALL THOSE NON-BELIEVERS!

haha. =D

damn.i realised i got tons of hwk to do but i'm still slacking! haha..
one of these days i'll spam this blog with pictures:D
then it'll be A.W.E.S.O.M.E. HAHA!
maybe i'll blog ltr. i cant rmb wat i wanna write~
haha. i suffer from S.S.T.M (super short term memory!)

i'm gonna go eat my da bao!
OH SHIT! NOTE TO SELF!: go collect sticker from novena.before 4th jan.
oh and i think i'll copy wateva i wrote on lj over:D

WHAT'S UP WITH OBSESSIONS!:D

2009-03-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

I SERIOUSLY NID AN OBSESSION TOO!!!
everybody else is getting their obsessions~ I WANT!:/

haha.i'm throwing a tantrum!hrmph:/
this is like in sentosa today!!!(:
but my picture is so unglam i'll put a smiley!:D
SIZZLING HOT RITE!
haha.
my skin's like THI-SS thick!*uses fingers to illustrates how much!*
haha.as i was saying..this picture is the courtesy of my sis bf..
why in the world does everybody want to take unglam pictures of me?!?!

today's damn hot. maybe that's y my mood not veh good.
but hy cheered me up:D haha along with my bestest cousins!!!
yay! haha.but i was emo-ing abit.haha. oh well!
i'm UN-predictable! =D talent!*-*blink blink!

i don't understand.really..i dont!
being a girl, maybe it's different.but it's still way off..

are there too many diff varieties in the world,

and since god loves them all; he created many to see the beauty in others?

in his own time and will, maybe he'll give me better insight? and judgement.

oh, and today's cedar's speech day!
our school totally rocks the socks off!:))
haha! we're the cool-est batch ever.
abit disappointed i'm not gold with honours but ohwell;
i'll be like really stressed if i go hc or rj.
4N only has like 6 people!
Jasmine, jamien, me, khairiah, germaine and marlia.
like i c mostly all rj, hc, vj, nj..lol we like to cluster.hmm..
ohh.i nid sleep by 12.:D which is soon.dang.

dear almighty lord,
i pray that u'll lemme be receptive to your word.
;to be fully awake :P,
to learn to nt be as lazy as ever and work hard to keep what i've been given,
to learn the art and importance of perseverance,
to have full confidence;
and to know the value of patience.
"to teach us some value, He must first afflict pain and suffering."
please deliver me through this and learn all that i'm supposed to learn.
In Jesus' most precious name, Amen.

like a teabag that is used a thousand times over. bland and tasteless..

2009-03-25T05:55:00.000-07:00

DOMO-KUN!!!:D

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes
it's a nice song rite(:
Love Story by taylor swift:D

i'm bored but i'm lazy to do work eh..HAHA:D as always!

i declare today SLACKER DAY! =D

YAY! i got tom yam soup/mutton soup+ bearncurd skin thingy tmr:))

YAY! YAY! YAY!

*jumps around wildly!~BOING BOING..

today i went novena:D

yippee..and ate long john's:D

and i bought stickers:D i know it's a waste of money..but i dun care!:D

i dunno what's this post for but i just wan to write sth!haha.

=)lemme see..hmm..

OMG! i watching this drama! den the guy damn ass-hole!

i'm neva gonna be a housewife!

the woman so nice den he say

quote: from an elegant lily to a frump!!!unquote.

damn ass lah!!!Grr..

:D dun care them alrdy!HAHA>>

i got craving for tom yam's soup!!!..

oh man.

hmm.. let's see. umm..school's alright i guess..

haha.not super duper happy..but okay lah

my tchers' all super cute! except the form tcher..

that guy pms-es like shit!!

haha.my class's quite funny.

i'm hanging out with the ASEAN scholars lah!

can you believe? like OMG..haha

they're all quite cool! except for the PRC..she's really beyond Cina!!

*i'm so sorry..but really!*

heheh..my training's alright eh..after all i survived! haha..

i dint die!..and i'mthe fastest:D

but i still got like 14:12.. sad luh!

my aim is too not run that extra lap!:D

oh! and i nid to train for inclined:(

damn it. haha.

PS> dear lord, i pray that i'll be able to grow in my faith,

and learn to be more compassionate.

guard my tongue better;and be less lazy..

Amen.

i'm sleeping now:D

nites, people!~

OH MY GOSH!

2009-03-23T05:20:00.001-07:00

OMG! I"M SPAMMING!~

haha i found this!~ some trip eh..-_-"

my daddy was likes secretly taking pictures of me.

zzZZ.. haha!stalker lahs.

I'm watching OKTO BUT YOU CANT JUDGE ME! XP

2009-03-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

I'M CRAVING FOR NEW SHOES!!!& WII!!

and hot legs!~ dang.

haha.i know this is random.

BUT I DONT CARE! lalala~

i've been taking things too seriously.

expectations dont equate to reality(PART TWO)

2009-03-23T04:35:00.000-07:00

i'm back from my 1 hour nap:D
i'm moody now.
like have u noticed how ppl change as they get closer?
do we accept the change, no matter positive or negative?
or do we reject it and expect them to improve?
maybe it's my short attention span.
maybe i get sick of ppl too easily..
after a passing phase things would be alright.
would it not?

jealousy is an UGLY horremdous green monster.
it creeps up on you. and crushes u.
all the time u are helpless and ignorant.
sad huh?
oh well.. we have to deal with it rite?

i sound so emo!:D :D
i resolve to:
1. lose weight!(i'm getting fat!)
2. be more nice and understanding.
3. be more enthu during training.
4. take care of myself properly.(i'm a freakshow.)
5. enjoy life to the fullest.
6. finish up my hwk.

oh gosh.i'm depressed just looking at this.
haha:D it's time to grow up tiffany!
life is not as it used to be. no metter how badly u want it to reverse.
it just cant. dang.

i should be doing econs now!=) TA-TA!!

P.S dear lord, i'm really thankful for those who supported me through this impt change of my life,
for hy, for liwenn, for khairiah, for xinyi, for everybody.=)
maybe not support or more like cheered me up and being there.
i resolve to make more great friends(:
Amen.

expectations doesn't equate reality (PART ONE)

2009-03-23T02:13:00.000-07:00

i'm uber proud of myself..i got back into church!
:D :D YAY! i'm really glad(:
anw, recently havent been very good..
ACJC's supposed to be super wild and crazy!
but yet, it's like quite mugger-ish.
okay, maybe it's not tt bad but like not as i expected so fun lah.
but oh well I <3 AC!
(liwenn! don't say i'm not patriotic ah!!)
i like my class(: scholars and all..but like all LAZY PIGS!!..haha
anw as i was saying..like i've been dreading school since it started..
aiya..i'm continuing part two l8r..
my brain's fried from the lack of sleep!
WAIT FOR ME!:D

true love is to believe

2009-01-26T06:04:00.000-08:00

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I’m doin’ It

It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

damn.i'm home alone.haha. abandoned!!

where has all the love gone?hhahah..zZZz..

nobody wants me~i'm forgotten!lost!abandoned!

what's this?!?! such a cute and loveable girl. abandoned!

haha!jk lah..i'm bored u see..heheh..

anw this song is what hurts the most by Rascal Flatts..

kinda grows on u..hmm.. haha.

2009-01-20T23:07:00.000-08:00

And someday

I promise I'll be gone

And someday I might even sing this song to you

I might even sing this song to you, to you, to you

And I was crying alone tonight

And I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you

So just come back we'll make it better

So just come back

I'll make it better than it ever was

Maybe it's just me

Couldn't you believe

That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving

And the tear in your eye and your calm, hard face

Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

i realised my previous post was like totally random at the end..haha..

i went out in the end...haha! so not tt guai.

this song is MAYBE by secondhand serenade//

nice rite? haha.

hmm..i'm a relatively boring person..cnt rmb any rants..hhaha.

oh well.. ytd i was like playing bball..

great rite..but my ams are like aching abit nw..haha..i'm old.

oh ya! i rmbed.

why cnt they leave me alone??

just bcuz i wna go ac?

retarded ah.i alrdy applied what cn i do?

everybody hv to scold me once!sheesh..

at least wait til posting ma.

mayb i hv no choice but to appeal.

i tot it's my choice!?! should hv scored worse..zzZz.

my mood's dampened by these concerned yet unknowingly hurtful remarks.

i know they care but whr's their support!..

--------------------------

okay ended..i'm not really pissed nw(:

I HATE XIANG QIN!!! she's the dumbest lah!Grr...

she looks really ugly wen she cry!lol!! haha..

watch the show really super angry w/ her lah

she's beyond dumb..haha..

OMG!..the trauma!(*mock faints.)

2009-01-14T19:50:00.000-08:00

i'm a super gd girl!!(despite contrary beliefs)
lol! today I'M NOT GOING OUT!
a shocking revelation rite?? haha..
i too stressed~ haha
no lah..rubbish one! aiyo!!
I TOTALLY HATE CHOOSING IMPT STUFF!
WHY ARENT I IN IP?? ZZzz..
i cnt rmb wat i wanted to rant abt..RANTING PART 2(:

lol i'll be back(:
:D i'm stuck.

2009-01-13T18:49:00.000-08:00

1. 题目 : .. 一边 ........... 一边 ............ ..
小朋友写 : 他一边脱衣服 , 一边穿裤子
.老师评语 : 他到底要脱还是要穿啊 ~~

2. 題目 : 你看
小朋友写 : 你看什么看 ! 没看过啊

3. 照样造句例题 : 你 ( 唱歌 ) 我 (跳舞 )
小朋友写 : 你 ( 好吗 ) 我 ( 很好 )
老师评语 : 你在写英文翻译吗 ??

4. 照样造句例题 : 别人都夸我 ( ) ，其实我 ( )
小朋友写 : 别人都夸我 ( 很帅 ) ，其实我 ( 是戴面具的 ) 。
老师评语 : 什么面具这么好用 ???

5. 题目 : 陆陆续续
小朋友写 : 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语 : 你到底有几个爸爸呀 ?

6. 题目 : 欣欣向荣 - 比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写 : 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语 : 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗 ...
还有一个更瞎的 …
小朋友写 : 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语 : 连续剧不要看太多 ~~

7. 题目 : 谢谢 .... 因为 ......
小朋友写 : 我要谢谢妈妈 , 因为她每天都帮我写作业 ......
老师评语 : 原来你的作业是妈妈写的 !!!!!!!

8. 题目 : 难过
小朋友写 : 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语 : 老师更难过 ......

9. 题目 : 天才
小朋友写 : 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净 ~~

10. 題目 : 又..... 又 .....
小朋友寫 : 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语 : 你妈妈...... 是怪物吗 ?

zzZZz super funny rite??(:
lol was watching some talkshow where dbsk went..
super cute~!!
i didnt even noe yunho is the leader.
he's quite popular eh..
zzZZ..people abit blind eh!!
(shakes them vigorously. 'wake up!!')
lol.
i realised i'm a super lag music listener!!
like no idea who is who..

anw im gonna rant..
zzzZZ..just met this primary school person a few days ago.
and she was like oh hi! since we were on the bus..
den i was like oh. den we neva say anything..
den wen the bus stop she like immediately went to the front door of the bus and left.
I SO SCARY MEH!!zzzZz..den she was like avoiding me,
dun wn me talk to her den dun so obvious..
superpissed lah. plus herbest fren is like gg ard and like spreading stuff..
i neva talk to her damn long lah! i dunno why she so pissed w/ me!
WA!!!!CRAZY LO!!! relax la.zzZZ..

i wish ppl would just get over themselves~
oh well! i finally gt it off my chest!
haha! ended.
oh let's talk abt mon:
hmm..12th.. was like super scared until i cant slp..
our school did super well!!YAY
but ourclasslike quite screwed up~
oh well..abit embarassed la..
anw then ytd we had a 'where-to-go' meeting!! aha.
supp to hlp but it did not come to any real conclusion!haha..
we're a undecided bunch!haha.

oh well.. now i waiting for liwenn and den i'll go rj open hse.
lol bribed liwenn into gg..and after that go gym.
i swear my track shoes will be my best fren for 09!!
resolution lah.(but most prob tt plan will fail horribly..)
lol((: i wna go cotton on!!..zzZZ..it's like budget!

OMG. my sis got her cny clothes alrdy.
i got none..oops.

2009-01-06T18:43:00.000-08:00

i'm just listening to this really nice song on imeem:
pocketful of sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.

I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.

Oh.

There's a place that I go,

But nobody knows.

Where the rivers flow,

And I call it home.

And there's no more lies.

In the darkness, there's light.

And nobody cries.There's only butterflies.

it's great huh?heheh..

yupps((: oh i had the most horribl-est dream..

and now tere's super lot of butterflies in my stomach..

argh i lazy go out.. but i have to go yfc..ZzZz..

some assessment..i'm quite worried though.

dno y must hv assessment..sucks lah.